Twinkle of my eye

Beneath these million vivid twinkling stars,
In the hush & the muzzling of the stray speeding cars
In the gentle winds and the moonlit skies
I hope no one hears my dim heartfelt cries…

I stare silently at those eyes I know so well
Trembling captive glaciers within, I can tell
So deep, loveable, non-expressive yet emotive
I won’t forget those dark lids till I live…

Always in control, other than this day,
A tear rolling slowly down your cheek
I gaze at you and you have nothing to say
To the questions, answers to which we seek

…

I wonder for a moment if this is all a dream
But alas it’s true, you no more respond to my scream…
I wish every night to have you next to me
But alas, it’s just loneliness and me

A tear jus rolled down my cheek too
You aren’t around this time to wipe out this dew
I once thought its best if I’d let us be…
And you said – you’d never forget me

Been a while since I slept like before
How could I sleep amiss your locks galore?
I cannot believe we won't meet again…
I guess, to sail through life, we need this pain…

Yet, I miss the naughty smile that lit up my sky
Ah it hurts … Can somebody tell me why?

I live in the darkness now, drive down empty roads
Into sudden and unforeseen ruins of pain…
A sweet bright world for us, we’d scribbled on the board
Sigh… The writing got washed off in rain...

-Ships

Roshni...

Roshni un chamakti aankhon ki humaare dil mein rehne do
Ujaale khaamosh khilkhilahaton ke humaare saath rehne do
Ruth jaaye koi humse agar, khusiyon ki sham ho jaaye
Jaane kab kiss ghadi mein zindagi ka suraj dhal jaaye...

-Ships

My Mobile, My Man!

Of late, I have been on a mission to find the perfect smart phone for myself. In this process, I could not help but correlate and decipher the uncanny similarity of the whole episode to the process of finding a life partner…
Confused? Read on for more…

You have loved simplicity all through. You didn't want to be interrupted by work emails at 1 am in the night and hence the decision - not to own a blackberry. This decision was made and sealed years ago. But the time has come, when you feel shaky about the decision of yesteryears. Was it the most apt thing to do? Was it a wise decision at the first place? You find your friends and colleagues around you flaunting the latest smart phones, and flashing them at you as their sign of achievement and success. Shucks! Realization dawns upon you and you want to be a proud owner of one of those geeky-cum-trendy gizmos! Enough of dilly dallying - you decide to firm up your mind and go for it! This is on-the-dot similar to how you feel when you see most of your friends getting married or engaged and to beat it up - few already have babies (!), to which you decide to take the plunge and enter the most awaited partner-search phase!

Once the decision has been made to start the hunt, the grueling task begins. You ask friends, family and colleagues for opinion on the latest phone models. This is followed by collecting more information on online review websites wherein you compare various available options. Most definitively, you filter out information based on the brand, budget, form and features, just like you filter down your attributes during your man-hunt - Indian origin, Mumbai-resident, Post grad degree… and so on. This is quite similar to searching profiles on a shaadi.com website, or hunting for single prospects at family gatherings or friends’ parties, followed by snooping on their facebook information!

You kick-off the task by first short-listing a few brands – Nokia, Sony Ericsson, HTC, Blackberry and so on. Usually Nokia models are very reliable and run forever. Sony Ericsson phones have the best multi-media. HTC ones look great and suave, but shitty in terms of efficiency, and battery-life. Blackberry ones are stunted to professionalism, and are very multi-media deprived. Likewise, Bengali grooms are usually reliable, but are most-definitely mamma’s boys. As long as you can live with that fact, you are good. South Indian models are as reliable; but you need to compromise on non-communication with in-laws as you’d never be able to learn those languages. Phew! Marathi guys are sweet and chase you like there’s no tomorrow, but your house-maid Asha-bai’s drunkard husband’s epitome makes you wary of them! Gujju-Marwari grooms would weigh you high on dowry. An UP-ite would initially woo you with their inborn Lucknowi andaaz and tehzeeb and later shower you with quintessential bhaiyya vernaculars. A Punjabi munda would be well-built and would have looks to kill for. However the same physique could be a deal-breaker when the husband beats up the wife with his ‘dhaai-kilo ka haath’ post marriage after downing a couple of Patiala pegs! Stereotypical, but could possibly be somewhat true nonetheless. ;)

Budget – 25K, less would be great. However, could stretch if the model is irresistible! You’d settle for a well-to-do guy, no dowry demands, good in-laws… Form – swivel, slider, QWERTY, brick, etc. etc. Well-built, athletic, slim – choose the form as you wish. Just remember - a huge brick might be out of fashion, yet the sturdiest.

Once the basics have been ticked against, then you choose the key features, talk-time, camera resolution, and connectivity options and the additional features like hands-free, inbuilt-Dictaphone, visiting card reader and others. While short-listing a man, you essentially follow the same approach. Make a laundry list of compulsory attributes that he must absolutely possess (presentable looks, decent height, a post-grad degree, enchanting chivalry, a well-to-do job, an irresistible smile, so on and so forth) and a list of secondary criteria that are good-to-have, but not necessarily deal breakers (pally in-laws, a whooshing car, a flat overlooking the seas and the ability to sing for you all night long!). Depending on your budget (read - self-looks, attributes and ‘aukaad’), see if you want to compromise on certain attributes. You decide on the trade offs of having a high talk-time vis-a-vis a high resolution video recording. Similarly, you chose your man - high maintenance versus a low maintenance partner.

After the basics and essential features are in place, you then sort the list based on newest to the oldest models. You wouldn’t consider a model which has been in the market for 2 years or more. Likewise, you would be wary to try out fresh new entries, as there are no reliable reviews to vouch upon. Just like - you wouldn't want to marry someone who is very old, neither someone who is very naive. ;)

Once you have sorted it out and shortlisted the phones, you’d like to go and check the actual look and feel of the same, for which you pay a visit to the nearby showroom. It’s more or less like the first date. This is when the visual assessment happens. In banal terms, you try to check him out unapologetically, you try to do a foolproof test, find minor glitches, and look for weird things he does.

Be really guarded while striking the final deal. Some deals are very leery and too good to be true. You need to quick-flag them. The in-laws claim they will treat you as their daughter and give you all they have, no dowry demands. In the backdrop you could see them celebrating at finally disposing off their impotent/ gay lad! Start looking for another mobile and a different dealer showroom before that happens to you.

Sometimes, one look is enough and you know that this is the one. Trust your gut feeling and take that blazing red brick phone, no matter how much friends, family, or colleagues advise you against buying the model. It is you who will use it. Don’t be afraid to go for the attributes you are most absolutely looking for. Haggle. Bargain. Negotiate. Even if you don't get reduced prices, freebies don't harm! Play hard to get.

Once you have bought it, its your to keep. Explore all its features with no fear. Loosen up yourself, feel his attitude. Don’t be afraid to explore him in and out... Treasure him…. Mobile-hunt and man-hunt are essentially similar processes. You are still looking at the same parameters - brand, budget, form and features, be it a mobile or a man!

- Shipra

Epilogue:
Over time, scan the market again and go for a model upgrade if possible. ;)

Tea Time!

The evening where I paraded with a fragile tea tray
When mom decorated all in her own little way
I put my nubile hat and marched in front of strangers
Acted coy and nice, and prayed there are no dangers

So lady, tell us more about yourself
Felt like a question right from hell!
How is one supposed to describe oneself?
There are certain things you just can’t tell!

Do I cook well? Hell yes, but only on weekends
Do you sing? Yes, but only to scare friends!
Do you drive? That’s a big yes, bring it on!
Do you nag? Of course, I do, I am a girl, you moron!

Did you make this tea? What? Excuse me?
I was holed up in my room, didn’t you see?
Did you make the samosas, my dear?
No, there’s a sweet shop right here…

What do you want in a husband, may I know?
Anticipated it coming, there you go!
Tall, dark and handsome is the least
Non-snoring and loving, and always ready for a feast!

Someone who can sing to me all night
With whom, my whole world would seem just right
One who’ll take me touring across the seas…
And not hesitate in handing me the car keys!

Should love my parents more than me
Should become my destiny
If you have all of this in you,
Gentleman - kindly join the queue ;)

- Shipra

The Silhouette of Smoke

Of hits and misses

Of smokes and kisses

Ringlets of smoke, blown waywardise

Faces of the devil in you uprise…

True, that it left your night in untenable highs

The morning after you were left with regretful sighs

When you see your mermaid with azure eyes

Burning wearily of your smoke -- her heart cries

In your wild reverie, these sweet times might fly

And the kindled passion between us might die

All left would be wriggled worn out faces

As you search the glorious past in traces

You say weed smells as fragrant as the sweetest flower

But oh my sweets, it’s all but a test of your will power

It might be your little comforter, easily tucked in your pocket

More comforting could be I, safely held in your heart’s locket

Try me instead -- in care, or joy, or sorrow,

Trust me there in lay a better tomorrow

I will add charm to all your joys

Your cigarette only but destroys

Disdain the smoking wreath and embrace joy with a softer splendor,

And see how life grows sweetly with my love more truly tender...

I’m sure you won’t regret losing your little smoky treasure…

Life but fulfills and balances all in right measure

Don’t smoke away till you reach the dusk of today

Wake up in the twilight hours, in my arms if you may…

Drown your smoke in bliss, with the first warm kiss

from the lips with of love, with crimson rays from above…

-Ships

MECHANICS VS. MICRO ECONOMICS

Come, fall in love. I wonder why no one ever rises up!

So… what exactly is this love? Is it a flowchart of events and activities, one following the other, interspersed with a lot of decision making boxes? Is it a series of functions, one dependent on the other? Or is it a set of events comprising a universal set?

Phew… Love gets complicated and imaginary for an engineer.

So, is love about managing expectations, and putting forward winning negotiations? Or is it some call-put option paying a better ROI than equity? Or is it a straight line on the demand-supply curve?

Phew… Love gets methodical and results oriented with deadlines, for a manager.

Let me tell you a story of one such engineer and a manager exploring this untrodden path, gradually discovering something like love.

E met M one December…
E was an engineer in all his heart and soul. M was fresh out of her b-school. The two hit off instantly as friends. What followed were a zillion movies, dining over M’s apple-sauce… E never spoke much, yet their conversations were vivid and fun. More than a year went past, when one day M sensed something different. A feeling she never felt before…
What was it? A sheepish truth lay bare in front of her eyes. She confronted her thoughts and fears with E, while he listened patiently as always.

Both of them felt it, but neither understood. They tried uncovering it with logic and weaving it up with unsolicited philosophies of pragmatism. But nothing fell into place…

E said:

I am a confused soul
With no aspiration, no goal
I live life my way
Come whatever may
For me - out of sight is out of mind
Doesn’t take me long to unwind...
Frivolity is in my skin
No one heart will I win…

M said:

I can’t stay confused forever
We have to admit it now or never
You aren’t even sure who you are
Besides, in a while you’ll be very far…
Attachment is what women seek
Be it from a smoothie, or a geek
Thinking is painstaking for both you and me
Let’s admit it… parting ways is the key…

Silence filled the air. An empty void fogged their hitherto impeccant minds at this very thought of impending separation. They bought some time from destiny… That story will soon end… However, what’s interesting to note in this story is how it all emerged…
Life is neither mechanics nor micro-economics… Its way beyond logic and reasoning, in a word, it’s weird!

Cherish the good times, forget the bad days.
This simple recipe will make life taste like ambrosia.

As they discover this path towards understanding this zaniness, I leave you pondering over the same with George Benson’s finest words…

You don't know how lips hurt
Until you've kissed and had to pay the cost
Until you've flipped your heart and you have lost
You don't know what love is

Lips that taste of tears lose their taste for kissing indeed.

Moral of the story: Apply sweet flavored lip balm. Life is all about tastefulness. :D

- Ships

Yeh dil ab mera na raha!

Is Dil ko ilzaam na dijiye
Ab woh mera kaha raha...
Seene ko tatol rahe hai kab se
Na jaane chup gaya hai who kaha

Zara dekho toh yeh badmassh
Tumhaare dil ke pass to nahi?
Agar ho toh zaroor batana mujhe
Do dil - ek dhakdan hum bhi sune to sahi...

-Ships

Of Acceptances & Approvals

Oh life, you make me rumble and tumble
Every commitment you make, you fumble
I seek you, in hope and in despair
I find you, in darkness and glare

I hate to see you embarrassed of me
Non-acceptance I but cannot see
I wait for the day you take the step bold
End the vicious circle of emotions cold

I hate it when you hide me from your world
At destiny’s glance, my hands you never hold
I hope for there to be a mutual stance
Where life pleasures me with a graceful dance

I fight with myself every night
I condition myself after every fight
To hate you life, like no one could
All my conditioning serves no good
When you smile to me like the crescent moon
And speak innocently of making up soon

And here I wait again for another night
Another miracle, to make all things right
I crave for acceptance, I crave for approval
Wonder why for this, you behave so frugal

I look at you with earnest eyes
Kicking my heels with incessant sighs
Here you come into my arms tonight
To put an end to all my plight

-Ships

Chor Bazari

Time again to pen down something!

Yesterday while waiting at the lounge for my flight which was obnoxiously delayed by more than a couple of hours (woes of a consultant’s life!), I happened to strike a conversation with a co-lounger. We discussed lost times and lost things! I recollected this very interesting incident of losing my beloved wallet and its tumultuous (?) journey ahead!

This is indeed a very interesting snippet out of my real life. Let’s call it “Chor Bazari - The Story of the Benevolent Thief”

Read on…

“That’ll be Rs. 3879 in all, Ma’m”

“Thanks. Let me help you with my card”

I sneaked my hand in the purse to get the card which was always conveniently tucked into the easiest part of the wallet in my purse. I couldn’t spot it in the first go. And then began a still-calm-but-vigorous search, followed by a desperate search and lo’ I was left with a constipated look on my face. I couldn’t find my wallet! Holy heavens…

What next?

A frantic search of all my pockets, revisit to all the changing rooms and dressing counters… but alas, it was nowhere to be found.

I realized that the zip of the purse was slightly open when I first searched for my wallet, reason enough for me to believe that someone must have flicked it. *Sigh*

“Why do you carry so many cards when you do not need all at the same time?” I remembered my mom’s words. I should’ve listened to her.

It was time to get into action. Cancel all your cards, Shipra.

“Welcome to Citibank… For English, Press 1… Blah Blah”… and the saga continued for a good 30 odd minutes.

“Yes, please cancel both my credit cards and disable my debit card for the moment. Thanks!”

Phew, didn't it also have your SBI debit card? Ouch! Now from where do I find the account number? It was always operated by dad…

“You should handled your finances yourself.” I remembered dad telling me once. I couldn't even ask him the number on the phone as I didn't want him to know I had lost my wallet! He’d get unnecessarily worried. Why didn't I follow what he said! Too late to repent… Anyways, let’s chuck that. It’s almost a nil balance account. No sweats.

This excruciating evening was followed by a morning after of registering FIR at the police station. Those ‘public servants’ made me wait for an eternity and just when I thought my ordeal was over, I was informed that the FIR can be lodged only when I get a stamped letter from the court (which happened to be in the other end of the city!) I went all the way to the court to get an affidavit with a stamp on it listing the items in the wallet I “lost”. Please note, I was not allowed to mention anywhere that it was stolen! I anyways lodged the FIR only to make sure my identity proofs were not misused by anyone. (Lest be it some infiltrators or terrorists! Talk about day-dreaming and hyper-worrying!)

After accomplishing this gala-feat, I thought I had attained Nirvana. However, happy realization dawned upon me that the ill-fated wallet also had my driving license. Sigh again! And, how difficult would it be to get a new license. :(

Well, now I had to tell dad about the incident. I could hide it no longer. I was just about to call dad on day 3. As I picked up my phone to dial his number, the phone rang. It was dad calling me! Talk about telepathy!!

Did someone inform him about the incident?

Could it have been the police ringing him up?

Oh no! The constipated look on my face resurged!

“Shipra, why have you parceled us your wallet?”

“Err… What? What all does it contain dad?

“All your cards, license, some passport photographs”

“Woah and cash?”

“Nil”

“Dam-it! What a benevolent thief! He actually used a part of his steal to return back my valuables. May he live long!”

I ended up narrating the entire tale to my dad. We had a hearty laugh.

Isn’t it a fairytail-ish tale? Well, life indeed is a grand fairy tale. Cheers!!!

-Ships

The Little Pink Purse

The twinkling city of lights
Friends frolicking, always a delight
Toured the land of fancy toons
Up and down the hilly cocoons

Gazed at the tall buildings perched into the sky
Invading the tranquil heavens with structures high!
Basked in the quiet of the hot bay sun
Dinners and brunches were good fun

Dangling eve lights bedazzled the azure streets
Whilst we danced and rejoiced over chic beats
Smiles a many, frowns none
Remembrance left, still some

All was good till the chimes echoed on me
The good ol’ times of happiness and glee…
Shopped a lot, trinkets and what not
Something was amiss, may be that one little wish…

Glanced at the purses, looked for that one
You know that tiny pink one with frills some
Pink purses there were few
But that one I guess was passé’ just like you

Rightly called fragrance harbour indeed…
Good ol’ redolence, o’ boy did I need?
Visiting the city of your first grand felicitation
A gala visit outside of our nation

Still proud of you and the little souvenir for me you got
The purse may be ex attire, memories certainly are not…
Alighted the ferry for the journey back
Consumed with a feeling of incompleteness as I pack

Langsyne, yet
The cherished memories make me smile as I leave the harbour
True - Sweet memories override all memories sour…

-Ships