Melody called 'LIFE'

Twinkle of my eye

2011-02-05T11:49:00.000-08:00

Beneath these million vivid twinkling stars,
In the hush & the muzzling of the stray speeding cars
In the gentle winds and the moonlit skies
I hope no one hears my dim heartfelt cries…

I stare silently at those eyes I know so well
Trembling captive glaciers within, I can tell
So deep, loveable, non-expressive yet emotive
I won’t forget those dark lids till I live…

Always in control, other than this day,
A tear rolling slowly down your cheek
I gaze at you and you have nothing to say
To the questions, answers to which we seek

…

I wonder for a moment if this is all a dream
But alas it’s true, you no more respond to my scream…
I wish every night to have you next to me
But alas, it’s just loneliness and me

A tear jus rolled down my cheek too
You aren’t around this time to wipe out this dew
I once thought its best if I’d let us be…
And you said – you’d never forget me

Been a while since I slept like before
How could I sleep amiss your locks galore?
I cannot believe we won't meet again…
I guess, to sail through life, we need this pain…

Yet, I miss the naughty smile that lit up my sky
Ah it hurts … Can somebody tell me why?

I live in the darkness now, drive down empty roads
Into sudden and unforeseen ruins of pain…
A sweet bright world for us, we’d scribbled on the board
Sigh… The writing got washed off in rain...

-Ships

Roshni...

2010-09-02T07:33:00.000-07:00

Roshni un chamakti aankhon ki humaare dil mein rehne do
Ujaale khaamosh khilkhilahaton ke humaare saath rehne do
Ruth jaaye koi humse agar, khusiyon ki sham ho jaaye
Jaane kab kiss ghadi mein zindagi ka suraj dhal jaaye...

-Ships

My Mobile, My Man!

2010-07-08T03:12:00.000-07:00

Of late, I have been on a mission to find the perfect smart phone for myself. In this process, I could not help but correlate and decipher the uncanny similarity of the whole episode to the process of finding a life partner…
Confused? Read on for more…

You have loved simplicity all through. You didn't want to be interrupted by work emails at 1 am in the night and hence the decision - not to own a blackberry. This decision was made and sealed years ago. But the time has come, when you feel shaky about the decision of yesteryears. Was it the most apt thing to do? Was it a wise decision at the first place? You find your friends and colleagues around you flaunting the latest smart phones, and flashing them at you as their sign of achievement and success. Shucks! Realization dawns upon you and you want to be a proud owner of one of those geeky-cum-trendy gizmos! Enough of dilly dallying - you decide to firm up your mind and go for it! This is on-the-dot similar to how you feel when you see most of your friends getting married or engaged and to beat it up - few already have babies (!), to which you decide to take the plunge and enter the most awaited partner-search phase!

Once the decision has been made to start the hunt, the grueling task begins. You ask friends, family and colleagues for opinion on the latest phone models. This is followed by collecting more information on online review websites wherein you compare various available options. Most definitively, you filter out information based on the brand, budget, form and features, just like you filter down your attributes during your man-hunt - Indian origin, Mumbai-resident, Post grad degree… and so on. This is quite similar to searching profiles on a shaadi.com website, or hunting for single prospects at family gatherings or friends’ parties, followed by snooping on their facebook information!

You kick-off the task by first short-listing a few brands – Nokia, Sony Ericsson, HTC, Blackberry and so on. Usually Nokia models are very reliable and run forever. Sony Ericsson phones have the best multi-media. HTC ones look great and suave, but shitty in terms of efficiency, and battery-life. Blackberry ones are stunted to professionalism, and are very multi-media deprived. Likewise, Bengali grooms are usually reliable, but are most-definitely mamma’s boys. As long as you can live with that fact, you are good. South Indian models are as reliable; but you need to compromise on non-communication with in-laws as you’d never be able to learn those languages. Phew! Marathi guys are sweet and chase you like there’s no tomorrow, but your house-maid Asha-bai’s drunkard husband’s epitome makes you wary of them! Gujju-Marwari grooms would weigh you high on dowry. An UP-ite would initially woo you with their inborn Lucknowi andaaz and tehzeeb and later shower you with quintessential bhaiyya vernaculars. A Punjabi munda would be well-built and would have looks to kill for. However the same physique could be a deal-breaker when the husband beats up the wife with his ‘dhaai-kilo ka haath’ post marriage after downing a couple of Patiala pegs! Stereotypical, but could possibly be somewhat true nonetheless. ;)

Budget – 25K, less would be great. However, could stretch if the model is irresistible! You’d settle for a well-to-do guy, no dowry demands, good in-laws… Form – swivel, slider, QWERTY, brick, etc. etc. Well-built, athletic, slim – choose the form as you wish. Just remember - a huge brick might be out of fashion, yet the sturdiest.

Once the basics have been ticked against, then you choose the key features, talk-time, camera resolution, and connectivity options and the additional features like hands-free, inbuilt-Dictaphone, visiting card reader and others. While short-listing a man, you essentially follow the same approach. Make a laundry list of compulsory attributes that he must absolutely possess (presentable looks, decent height, a post-grad degree, enchanting chivalry, a well-to-do job, an irresistible smile, so on and so forth) and a list of secondary criteria that are good-to-have, but not necessarily deal breakers (pally in-laws, a whooshing car, a flat overlooking the seas and the ability to sing for you all night long!). Depending on your budget (read - self-looks, attributes and ‘aukaad’), see if you want to compromise on certain attributes. You decide on the trade offs of having a high talk-time vis-a-vis a high resolution video recording. Similarly, you chose your man - high maintenance versus a low maintenance partner.

After the basics and essential features are in place, you then sort the list based on newest to the oldest models. You wouldn’t consider a model which has been in the market for 2 years or more. Likewise, you would be wary to try out fresh new entries, as there are no reliable reviews to vouch upon. Just like - you wouldn't want to marry someone who is very old, neither someone who is very naive. ;)

Once you have sorted it out and shortlisted the phones, you’d like to go and check the actual look and feel of the same, for which you pay a visit to the nearby showroom. It’s more or less like the first date. This is when the visual assessment happens. In banal terms, you try to check him out unapologetically, you try to do a foolproof test, find minor glitches, and look for weird things he does.

Be really guarded while striking the final deal. Some deals are very leery and too good to be true. You need to quick-flag them. The in-laws claim they will treat you as their daughter and give you all they have, no dowry demands. In the backdrop you could see them celebrating at finally disposing off their impotent/ gay lad! Start looking for another mobile and a different dealer showroom before that happens to you.

Sometimes, one look is enough and you know that this is the one. Trust your gut feeling and take that blazing red brick phone, no matter how much friends, family, or colleagues advise you against buying the model. It is you who will use it. Don’t be afraid to go for the attributes you are most absolutely looking for. Haggle. Bargain. Negotiate. Even if you don't get reduced prices, freebies don't harm! Play hard to get.

Once you have bought it, its your to keep. Explore all its features with no fear. Loosen up yourself, feel his attitude. Don’t be afraid to explore him in and out... Treasure him…. Mobile-hunt and man-hunt are essentially similar processes. You are still looking at the same parameters - brand, budget, form and features, be it a mobile or a man!

- Shipra

Epilogue:
Over time, scan the market again and go for a model upgrade if possible. ;)

Tea Time!

2010-07-04T09:52:00.000-07:00

The evening where I paraded with a fragile tea tray
When mom decorated all in her own little way
I put my nubile hat and marched in front of strangers
Acted coy and nice, and prayed there are no dangers

So lady, tell us more about yourself
Felt like a question right from hell!
How is one supposed to describe oneself?
There are certain things you just can’t tell!

Do I cook well? Hell yes, but only on weekends
Do you sing? Yes, but only to scare friends!
Do you drive? That’s a big yes, bring it on!
Do you nag? Of course, I do, I am a girl, you moron!

Did you make this tea? What? Excuse me?
I was holed up in my room, didn’t you see?
Did you make the samosas, my dear?
No, there’s a sweet shop right here…

What do you want in a husband, may I know?
Anticipated it coming, there you go!
Tall, dark and handsome is the least
Non-snoring and loving, and always ready for a feast!

Someone who can sing to me all night
With whom, my whole world would seem just right
One who’ll take me touring across the seas…
And not hesitate in handing me the car keys!

Should love my parents more than me
Should become my destiny
If you have all of this in you,
Gentleman - kindly join the queue ;)

- Shipra

The Silhouette of Smoke

2010-05-05T11:48:00.000-07:00

Of hits and misses

Of smokes and kisses

Ringlets of smoke, blown waywardise

Faces of the devil in you uprise…

True, that it left your night in untenable highs

The morning after you were left with regretful sighs

When you see your mermaid with azure eyes

Burning wearily of your smoke -- her heart cries

In your wild reverie, these sweet times might fly

And the kindled passion between us might die

All left would be wriggled worn out faces

As you search the glorious past in traces

You say weed smells as fragrant as the sweetest flower

But oh my sweets, it’s all but a test of your will power

It might be your little comforter, easily tucked in your pocket

More comforting could be I, safely held in your heart’s locket

Try me instead -- in care, or joy, or sorrow,

Trust me there in lay a better tomorrow

I will add charm to all your joys

Your cigarette only but destroys

Disdain the smoking wreath and embrace joy with a softer splendor,

And see how life grows sweetly with my love more truly tender...

I’m sure you won’t regret losing your little smoky treasure…

Life but fulfills and balances all in right measure

Don’t smoke away till you reach the dusk of today

Wake up in the twilight hours, in my arms if you may…

Drown your smoke in bliss, with the first warm kiss

from the lips with of love, with crimson rays from above…

-Ships

MECHANICS VS. MICRO ECONOMICS

2010-04-02T10:29:00.000-07:00

Come, fall in love. I wonder why no one ever rises up!

So… what exactly is this love? Is it a flowchart of events and activities, one following the other, interspersed with a lot of decision making boxes? Is it a series of functions, one dependent on the other? Or is it a set of events comprising a universal set?

Phew… Love gets complicated and imaginary for an engineer.

So, is love about managing expectations, and putting forward winning negotiations? Or is it some call-put option paying a better ROI than equity? Or is it a straight line on the demand-supply curve?

Phew… Love gets methodical and results oriented with deadlines, for a manager.

Let me tell you a story of one such engineer and a manager exploring this untrodden path, gradually discovering something like love.

E met M one December…
E was an engineer in all his heart and soul. M was fresh out of her b-school. The two hit off instantly as friends. What followed were a zillion movies, dining over M’s apple-sauce… E never spoke much, yet their conversations were vivid and fun. More than a year went past, when one day M sensed something different. A feeling she never felt before…
What was it? A sheepish truth lay bare in front of her eyes. She confronted her thoughts and fears with E, while he listened patiently as always.

Both of them felt it, but neither understood. They tried uncovering it with logic and weaving it up with unsolicited philosophies of pragmatism. But nothing fell into place…

E said:

I am a confused soul
With no aspiration, no goal
I live life my way
Come whatever may
For me - out of sight is out of mind
Doesn’t take me long to unwind...
Frivolity is in my skin
No one heart will I win…

M said:

I can’t stay confused forever
We have to admit it now or never
You aren’t even sure who you are
Besides, in a while you’ll be very far…
Attachment is what women seek
Be it from a smoothie, or a geek
Thinking is painstaking for both you and me
Let’s admit it… parting ways is the key…

Silence filled the air. An empty void fogged their hitherto impeccant minds at this very thought of impending separation. They bought some time from destiny… That story will soon end… However, what’s interesting to note in this story is how it all emerged…
Life is neither mechanics nor micro-economics… Its way beyond logic and reasoning, in a word, it’s weird!

Cherish the good times, forget the bad days.
This simple recipe will make life taste like ambrosia.

As they discover this path towards understanding this zaniness, I leave you pondering over the same with George Benson’s finest words…

You don't know how lips hurt
Until you've kissed and had to pay the cost
Until you've flipped your heart and you have lost
You don't know what love is

Lips that taste of tears lose their taste for kissing indeed.

Moral of the story: Apply sweet flavored lip balm. Life is all about tastefulness. :D

- Ships

Yeh dil ab mera na raha!

2010-02-08T20:19:00.000-08:00

Is Dil ko ilzaam na dijiye
Ab woh mera kaha raha...
Seene ko tatol rahe hai kab se
Na jaane chup gaya hai who kaha

Zara dekho toh yeh badmassh
Tumhaare dil ke pass to nahi?
Agar ho toh zaroor batana mujhe
Do dil - ek dhakdan hum bhi sune to sahi...

-Ships

Of Acceptances & Approvals

2010-01-05T02:03:00.000-08:00

Oh life, you make me rumble and tumble
Every commitment you make, you fumble
I seek you, in hope and in despair
I find you, in darkness and glare

I hate to see you embarrassed of me
Non-acceptance I but cannot see
I wait for the day you take the step bold
End the vicious circle of emotions cold

I hate it when you hide me from your world
At destiny’s glance, my hands you never hold
I hope for there to be a mutual stance
Where life pleasures me with a graceful dance

I fight with myself every night
I condition myself after every fight
To hate you life, like no one could
All my conditioning serves no good
When you smile to me like the crescent moon
And speak innocently of making up soon

And here I wait again for another night
Another miracle, to make all things right
I crave for acceptance, I crave for approval
Wonder why for this, you behave so frugal

I look at you with earnest eyes
Kicking my heels with incessant sighs
Here you come into my arms tonight
To put an end to all my plight

-Ships

Chor Bazari

2009-10-05T23:08:00.000-07:00

Time again to pen down something!

Yesterday while waiting at the lounge for my flight which was obnoxiously delayed by more than a couple of hours (woes of a consultant’s life!), I happened to strike a conversation with a co-lounger. We discussed lost times and lost things! I recollected this very interesting incident of losing my beloved wallet and its tumultuous (?) journey ahead!

This is indeed a very interesting snippet out of my real life. Let’s call it “Chor Bazari - The Story of the Benevolent Thief”

Read on…

“That’ll be Rs. 3879 in all, Ma’m”

“Thanks. Let me help you with my card”

I sneaked my hand in the purse to get the card which was always conveniently tucked into the easiest part of the wallet in my purse. I couldn’t spot it in the first go. And then began a still-calm-but-vigorous search, followed by a desperate search and lo’ I was left with a constipated look on my face. I couldn’t find my wallet! Holy heavens…

What next?

A frantic search of all my pockets, revisit to all the changing rooms and dressing counters… but alas, it was nowhere to be found.

I realized that the zip of the purse was slightly open when I first searched for my wallet, reason enough for me to believe that someone must have flicked it. *Sigh*

“Why do you carry so many cards when you do not need all at the same time?” I remembered my mom’s words. I should’ve listened to her.

It was time to get into action. Cancel all your cards, Shipra.

“Welcome to Citibank… For English, Press 1… Blah Blah”… and the saga continued for a good 30 odd minutes.

“Yes, please cancel both my credit cards and disable my debit card for the moment. Thanks!”

Phew, didn't it also have your SBI debit card? Ouch! Now from where do I find the account number? It was always operated by dad…

“You should handled your finances yourself.” I remembered dad telling me once. I couldn't even ask him the number on the phone as I didn't want him to know I had lost my wallet! He’d get unnecessarily worried. Why didn't I follow what he said! Too late to repent… Anyways, let’s chuck that. It’s almost a nil balance account. No sweats.

This excruciating evening was followed by a morning after of registering FIR at the police station. Those ‘public servants’ made me wait for an eternity and just when I thought my ordeal was over, I was informed that the FIR can be lodged only when I get a stamped letter from the court (which happened to be in the other end of the city!) I went all the way to the court to get an affidavit with a stamp on it listing the items in the wallet I “lost”. Please note, I was not allowed to mention anywhere that it was stolen! I anyways lodged the FIR only to make sure my identity proofs were not misused by anyone. (Lest be it some infiltrators or terrorists! Talk about day-dreaming and hyper-worrying!)

After accomplishing this gala-feat, I thought I had attained Nirvana. However, happy realization dawned upon me that the ill-fated wallet also had my driving license. Sigh again! And, how difficult would it be to get a new license. :(

Well, now I had to tell dad about the incident. I could hide it no longer. I was just about to call dad on day 3. As I picked up my phone to dial his number, the phone rang. It was dad calling me! Talk about telepathy!!

Did someone inform him about the incident?

Could it have been the police ringing him up?

Oh no! The constipated look on my face resurged!

“Shipra, why have you parceled us your wallet?”

“Err… What? What all does it contain dad?

“All your cards, license, some passport photographs”

“Woah and cash?”

“Nil”

“Dam-it! What a benevolent thief! He actually used a part of his steal to return back my valuables. May he live long!”

I ended up narrating the entire tale to my dad. We had a hearty laugh.

Isn’t it a fairytail-ish tale? Well, life indeed is a grand fairy tale. Cheers!!!

-Ships

The Little Pink Purse

2009-09-15T07:54:00.000-07:00

The twinkling city of lights
Friends frolicking, always a delight
Toured the land of fancy toons
Up and down the hilly cocoons

Gazed at the tall buildings perched into the sky
Invading the tranquil heavens with structures high!
Basked in the quiet of the hot bay sun
Dinners and brunches were good fun

Dangling eve lights bedazzled the azure streets
Whilst we danced and rejoiced over chic beats
Smiles a many, frowns none
Remembrance left, still some

All was good till the chimes echoed on me
The good ol’ times of happiness and glee…
Shopped a lot, trinkets and what not
Something was amiss, may be that one little wish…

Glanced at the purses, looked for that one
You know that tiny pink one with frills some
Pink purses there were few
But that one I guess was passé’ just like you

Rightly called fragrance harbour indeed…
Good ol’ redolence, o’ boy did I need?
Visiting the city of your first grand felicitation
A gala visit outside of our nation

Still proud of you and the little souvenir for me you got
The purse may be ex attire, memories certainly are not…
Alighted the ferry for the journey back
Consumed with a feeling of incompleteness as I pack

Langsyne, yet
The cherished memories make me smile as I leave the harbour
True - Sweet memories override all memories sour…

-Ships

Tiara smiles at the sky

2009-08-03T04:12:00.000-07:00

She sees the vivid rainbow arched across the sky
On one end there sat you; at the other, there sat I
So many stories I’ve waited to tell our little child
She thinks you are gone… Yes, to her I’ve lied...

Of years, that I had dreamed to be in your soothing arms
I hold our little Tiara, with the same caress and the charm
I look in her eyes as she looks into mine
We smile like everything was perfectly fine

The so many of our ‘I love you’s left unsaid
I sing Tiara our halcyon songs to put her to bed
Unkempt promises to be always by my side
Not quite sure, if I’ll ever forgive you in this life

The unfinished schmoozes, the tears uncried
Shattered dreams, and those zillion things untried
May be time has healed our broken hearts;
With hugs and smiles in parcels and parts

But there’s a vacuum in Tiara’s life
I try my best amidst this strife
Yet she stays up every night looking at the bright star
Expecting her father to come back from the land very far

True, its me who said I had to go
I wish you had not let me do so...

Tiara again smiled up today at the sky
I wondered how far her loving smile would go...
This time it slid right over to the other side...
And reached the other end of the colored rainbow...

-Ships

Image from Artmagick

Welcome Aboard

2009-07-22T03:42:00.000-07:00

Nandini looked gorgeous in her elegant intricately crafted, beaded red lehenga. The pink on her cheeks, the smile in her eyes, and the music in the air moussed an excellent synchrony.

Vivaan, in a white golden crafted zardosi sherwani was standing right beside her, holding her by his arms. You could easily see the love, the pride of having her in his life, the honesty in his eyes.

They were gleefully accepting gifts, flowers, envelopes and wishes. It was picture perfect.

Pritha, Vivaan's mom could not keep her eyes off her beautiful daughter-in-law. She had always wanted a daughter, but as destiny would have it, she had two sons. She now knew that God eventually wanted to gift her with Nandini.

She was exuberant right from the day Vivaan had expressed his wish at marrying Nandini. He had known Nandini for a couple of years now and it always felt like she was family. Nandini never ceased to surprise them with birthday parties, honey-moon vacations planned for Pritha and her husband and very thoughtful memoirs form all places she traveled to on work. She was right next to Pritha when Vivaan's dad went through a major heart arrest. It was Nandini, who could make his father smile even in times of sheer pain. Pritha and Aurobindo were really fond of her. Nandini was the best daughter-in-law they could’ve dreamt of.

Neil was right next to the entrance standing with his friends. From where he stood, he could steal a few glances at her, and it seemed like she granted him those fleeting thefts. Many-a-thoughts played foul in his head. All through the evening, he kept wondering whether she expected him to move closer to her, hold her hand, kiss her softly on her cheeks and proclaim her to be his. However, he decided it was best to stay put. He wore a blue kurta today. Of course, it had to be blue... “My favourite’s blue, just like you, Neil”

It was almost past 8. Guests were queuing up for dinner, when Mala made an entry with a grand bouquet. She was Pritha’s childhood friend. She congratulated Pritha and apologized for not having made it to the wedding. Pritha had always told Mala about her son’s girl friend and how fond she was of her. Pritha escorted her to the dais to introduce her to Nandini, her precious gem.

“Mala, here’s my darling son and his prettier darling, Nandini”
One glance at her, and Mala immediately recognized her.

Her mind wandered back to the past.
She could hear her son's pleas loud and clear...

“Mom, she’s the best I have in my life. Please don’t do this to us. Mom, Please… clear your prejudices. At least meet her. All you know about her is - her name and her pic on my screen saver. .”

“No, it’s not happening, not over my dead body…”

It had been 7 years since that happened. Her son had tried his best to convince her, but to no avail. He went weak on her tears, broke off with Nandini and never fought back. All through his silence, he had moved far away from everyone in his life.

Nandini and Vivaan touched Mala’s feet for blessings. Meanwhile, Pritha went downstage to check on something. Mala wanted to cross-check if she was the same Nandini her son loved. “Umm… err… you are Nandini... what?”

Vivaan said with a smirk, “Maashi, she now is Nandini Banerjee.” There was a twinkle in Nandini’s eyes when she said – “It’s Nandini Roy Banerjee, Maashima”

Neil was still with his friends, totally disinterested in the banter. Mala went to Neil and held his hand. She wanted to say a zillion things, but her voice cracked, and she could just manage a squeaky, “I am sorry, son. I should have met her and taken some efforts to understand your relationship. Pritha says Nandini’s better than perfect. Will you never forgive your mom?”

Neil didn't say much. He looked at his Nandini, no longer his to proclaim. She was happy in her new found bliss. At least, of the two women he loved most in life, one was happy today. A silent tear rolled off from the corner of his eyes.

All evening, he had contemplated whether to go up the dais and wish the couple, but he couldn't gather himself to do the same. Silent stares and heartfelt wishes is all he could spare. He was the last one to leave the reception venue.

After the couple left, he went up to the dais and picked up a few petals that had fallen from Nandini’s hair-do and stuffed them in his kurta pocket.

He had a gift wrapped box with him which he placed next to the pile of gifts. It contained a replica of his very first gift to her, a wall clock which read “Welcome Aboard”.

- Ships

The Joy Ride - Chasing Marichika

2009-07-08T02:32:00.000-07:00

“Are you ready?”

“Yes, will be down in a jiffy”

Honk…

“Stop honking, you idiot!”

“Yes, Princess of Persia, hop in quick”

“Ahaan, why are you always in such a hurry? Relax. Life’s not departing for anywhere any soon.”

Scowl…

“Ho ho ho, lady! Life’s like a fistful of sand, here now, gone tomorrow.”

“Mr. Pessimist, god knows when you will learn to be satisfied with your picture perfect life. You have the most sought after job, a handsome salary, a nice house in the most glittering city, the latest car, a lovely wife, and of course an earthly princess like me for company. Yet you crib! Sigh…”

“Picture-perfect life… Indeed! I earn millions per year, slog most of the 24 hours of the day, get my new car bumped into, am like a visitor in my own house… that day too isn’t far when my wife will refuse to acknowledge my presence in her life.”

“Ahem… King of cribs, don't turn red just like this bloody signal!”

“Well Suhana, do you see that stout suited fellow in the chauffeured BMW all by himself reading some crappy business magazine?”

“Of course… filthy rich bugger”

“And do you notice that guy walking on the pavement hand-in-hand with his uniformed little daughter munching candy-floss? Who do you think is happier?”

“Err… it depends.”

“Yes, Ms. True-blue consultant. I know, the answer is very subjective. I totally acquiesce that the candy-floss dad isn’t the happiest fellow on earth and definitely has his own set of soups in life; however it looks like he does enjoy whatever little he has. On the contrary, look at people like us, who are constantly on the grind to reach to where the BMW guy is today. In short we are vehemently pursuing loneliness. We see the luxuries, and tend to ignore the solitude and the vacuum in his oh-so-brilliant life. We sacrifice so much of our lives in pursuit of things we enjoy so little.”

“Indeed Ahaan, I don't even remember the last time I had candy-floss with dad. Or the last time I spoke at length with my loved ones… We have been so crazily busy pursuing what – loneliness??? When was it last I enjoyed the raindrops splattering on my face, lest it should spoil my crisp formal shirt. As soon as I leave office, it’s already dark when I leave for home. God! I don't remember when was last, I saw the sun setting into the crimson sky…. I hate this mirage-chasing life really.”

“Hey Princess, the idea is not to repent the life we are living. I think, we still have a lot left to see, and let’s make it better. Let’s work towards the things we want in life. Let’s follow our dreams… Never forfeit your right to a happy-go-lucky life…. Never… Back to den… Office is already here! Alta-la-vista princess! Live another day of the endless harrowing chase”

Wink.

Wink.

“By the way, Ahaan… Wrap up by 6. Let’s catch a glimpse of the crimson sky, the chirping birds at the beach.”

Grin.

And life moves on…

- Ships

Note: 'Marichika' is a Hindi word for 'mirage'

I wonder how – Na Jaane Kyun...

2009-04-14T04:28:00.000-07:00

Tried penning down something and this uncanny sameness with this song from the movie “Choti si baat” intrigued me. So went on to complete the poem.

Find some excerpts from the same below.

Na Jaane Kyun, Hota Hai Yeh Zindagi Ke Saath
Achaanak Yeh Mann, Kisike Jaane Ke Baad
Kare Phir Uski Yaad Chhoti Chhoti Si Baat
Na Jaane Kyun ...

I wonder how life moves on
Yes, I know, you are gone,
Like you, there was none
We live life once, cherish all fun
Smile and rise everyday to a new sun

Jo Anjaan Pal, Dhal Gaye Kal, Aaj Who
Rang Badal Badal, Mann Ko Machal Machal
Rahen Hai Chal, Na Jaane Kyun Woh Anjaan Pal

I well-treasure the old times
Sing along newfangled rhymes
… And Life marches on…
In search of a new dawn

Saje Bhi Na Mere, Naino Mein
Toote Re Hai Re Sapno Ke Mahal
Na Jaane Kyun ...

I decorate my memories with your leftovers
Treating life as one big hangover
Find no answers to an umpteen things
I still try to fly with my rejuvenated wings

Wohi Hai Dagar, Wohi Hai Safar
Hai Nahin Saath Mere Magar Ab Mera Humsafar
Idhar Udhar Dhoonde Nazar Wohi Hai Dagar

In search of happiness I wander
Reminisce the realms we so abandoned
I search for the soul mate I found in you
Which I saw in you, in instances but few…

Kahan Gayi Shaamein, Madhbhari
Woh Mere, Mere Woh Din Gaye Kidhar
Na Jaane Kyun ...

Memories disappear, treasures fade
Way for new beginnings, times anew wade
Resurrect all feelings almost dead
Only I wish I knew where I next head…

-Ships

DULCET TONE OF THE TINY SMS

2009-04-01T23:18:00.000-07:00

“I love you too, my Tishi baby”

“And..?”

“Over SMS, ok?”

“Noooo…”

“Alright! Here you go…” whispered Vivaan and ended the call with a hurried over-the-phone kiss.

India was 8 down for 265 and needed 20 runs off the last 2 overs. Monish and Neil were glued to the television. Vivaan hurried from the privacy of his bedroom right into the living room to join his flat-mates for the nail-biting finish. Thank God for the tiny kiss, Tish didn't start off her girly tantrums today, thought Vivaan.

Trishna, aka Tish still had a broad grin on her face. He addressed her as baby finally on her insistence! Not that she loved being addressed that, just that she wanted him to behave more like how a stereotypical boy friend behaves. She kept her cell phone for charging and went on to join her brother and dad for the final over of the match.

…

“It’s Friday, Vivaan! You haven’t called me for the last 2 days… Neither have you SMSed how much you love me or miss me… You just don't remember me enough. I keep waiting you know…”

“Oh please, don't start the rant again, Tish”

“Alright”

Vivaan doesn't understand me enough. There is zero involvement from his side on things that matter to me. However, I think I was very rude to him today. I will definitely apologize and make things right tomorrow, thought Tish.

Tish never understands me. She is such a kid. What is with all this showing of how much I care for her? Such a girly thing to do... Of course, I like her more, as much as she thinks I don’t. But I was quite rude to her. I will make up for it tomorrow, thought Vivaan.

…

Days passed by, seasons altered. Most things had changed. But few remained affix.

Tish and Vivaan weren’t together anymore. Both were right and wrong in their own peculiar ways. Both had dreams which differed, expectations which didn't couple.

Tish was too nosy and interfering in everything. On the other hand, Vivaan was too detached. The chords didn't play in sync any more. The harmony no longer existed. It was a conscious decision on their part to close the unviable chapter of their cacophonous relationship.

…

Life has moved on.

Tish’s mind has stopped expecting or hoping, or so she thinks.

Vivaan amidst all this bedlam has started expecting and hoping to be able to talk to her soon.
She never responds. Never replies… Being ignored was the last thing on his list…

Now he keeps a count of days he hasn’t been able to reach out to her… He clearly remembers the last time they spoke.

‘It’s been 43 days, Tish… Can I speak to you once please?’ Tish reads the SMS; her mind doesn't acknowledge it and lets it pass like all his other messages.

She tries hard to, but something restrains her from deleting that tiny mess out of her inbox.

…

Nothing is binary. Love and hate aren’t the only emotions.

Likewise, no string attached is just in theory. In real life, all relationships leave twined strands behind.

Some strings induce dulcet tones, some don’t.

-Ships

Beliefs

2009-03-10T06:00:00.000-07:00

I was just going through my old conversation logs and this bit caught my attention.

I had this conversation with a friend quite some time back.

Context: We were discussing inter-religion marriages and pros and cons of the same, especially pertaining to the point if it was worth hurting your parents’ feeling for a man/woman you met a while ago.

What my friend explained made a lot of sense.
Find below excerpts from the conversation for the benefit of my readers.

“Well to put it in a nutshell, I believe that there is always, almost certainly one bitter pill that goes with any decision... Somebody has to swallow it. Could be anybody....but somebody has to…

When one is making a decision, he/she must understand who in the circumstances would eventually have to swallow that bitter pill... Most people tend to pretend as martyrs and decide to swallow the pill themselves, but, these pills don’t go down the throats of the decision makers easily...

In other words, the person concerned would tend to have a feeling of regret and defeat in his heart for a very long time... When it comes to asking your parents to pop that pill, we must remember a few things:

· They would initially make more noise than anyone else… INITIALLY
· They would create situations where the decision maker would tend to become a martyr
· But all said and done, parents value the happiness of their children much more than anything else
· They know that in this generation, it is very unlikely that their son and daughter-in-law would stay in their house… So subsequent interactions would be more over telephone and the sorts...
· And finally, no person who is true to himself will be able to truly take care of his parents if he is himself not happy in life... To be a good son, a good parent, it is important that there are NO regrets in life....and that the person is happy, confident with the choice he made...

In conclusion, the first six months may not be easy... but eventually all parents see the happiness in their children and feel good. Six months is too small a period of time when it comes to a decision to be made for life.”

On re-reading this entire discourse, it actually did sound quite credible. Plausible argument may be, but no harm! So, all you readers who are in such a dilemma, think no-more! I will direct you to this preacher friend of mine. Haha!!

-Ships

Deadly Din

2009-02-24T01:11:00.000-08:00

Promises, kept and broken
Words minced, said, left undone
Sleeping princess was just woken
Too late, very high up was the sun

Pandora’s pot, once filled, now emptied
Hush in the air, amidst fitful gushes
Heartless, spineless, bickered, quibbled
Vividly recalling the quondam celestial touches

A deadly silence in a din
No grudges, not all wars you win
A loud thud in a lethal still
Finally decking beloved at own will

Star, you still shine bright in a moonless sky
You are both angel and demon within you
Voice choked, dry of sadness, full of wry
All known now is, if only it was, but true

Of all surreal dreams, this one was for real
No pain, no rue, no trepidation to feel
Sails set to go, amidst the storm
Bereft of the summer’s chill; the winter’s warm

It was just another of the species
A man, a dog, a snake that hisses
Shameless coward, was blurted loud for a mile
Those words girthed around for a while

Spineless, heartless, shameless; all said and done
But still like the cited coward there was none
Only of its kind, the innocence and charm
Words which never wanted to cause any harm

Life is all but true
Just the same, in all its hue
Yet…
Nothing’s new, nothing’s new

-Ships

After note:
This post is about many-a-those situations you deal with in life in real. Severing ties with a beloved; or mourning a loved one’s demise…

Just felt like penning down a few words. When I started writing, I had both these situations at the back of my mind. One of unkept promises, sarcasm and hurt; and the other of a girl’s ire against God, who she thinks is a coward to have stolen her dad from her like that – when all was well and he was ready to go home hale and hearty; almost like stabbing from behind, spineless Almighty…

I wanted to write both the things in one-piece and this is what I could deliver. Read it differently for both the situations. Don’t know if it does justice to any of the two.

Random Ramblings of a Slapdash Girl!

2009-02-12T01:59:00.000-08:00

Got tagged by a friend... hence jotted down 25 random things about myself!

1. SHIkha (My mom) + PRAfulla (My dad) = SHIPRA (Meeee.. :))
I often get annoyed when people don’t pronounce my name properly. I have often been called “Shilpa”, “Sherpa”, “Chitra” etc etc

2. My parents wedding album was destroyed and neither did they have a marriage certificate. So while applying for mom’s passport, they could not technically prove they were married – which means we were illegal kids! :D They filed an affidavit and married last year officially!! Now, I am a legal kid :)

3. I was born on the 10th of December, supposedly the Human Rights Day!

4. I am a little Alice in her wonderland – Day dreaming is my forte. I sometimes land in unknown planets and fight wars with aliens!

5. Dad made me believe I was a princess, and bought me up quite like one. As a kid, when I went to my dida’s village for summer vacations, I threw tantrums “I need cold fridge water right now” and she got me cold water from an earthern matka. I demanded, I need to inspect the fridge, she showed it to me and said – “This is the latest offering in the market, called the mini-fridge!”

6. Also, when I was little, my dida’s village had no electricity. So when there was lightening in the sky, my dida would tell me, “Look, look, there’s electricity!” and I would fall for that!

7. My dad used to drop me to my nursery school on his Hero-Honda and I sat proudly on the petrol tank in front. I thought I was riding the bike myself! :D Later, we got our car, and I had grown up a bit… alas I couldn’t sit on his lap and drive the car!

8. I have been a very naughty kid. However, always managed to be all my teachers’ pet.

9. In Std. 2, I fought with a little boy and tore his uniform :D (After that, whenever we chased each other, he would hide in the boy’s toilet! *sigh*)

10. I like surprising loved ones with random little gifts, sometimes when it is least expected. 2 days back on my parents’ wedding anniversary, I surprised them with a suhagraat flower-setting in their room. They were mighty embarrassed!

11. In my B-school, some friends played a prank and changed my laptop’s name. So anyone who tried downloading from my computer on the LAN could read “downloading from Rolakutty - The Porn Star’s lappie”… eeeks!

12. I used to scare my little bro with cockroaches. I took pride in holding them by their tentacles! Poor kid used to be freaked out by the very sight!

13. I tried to suffocate my infant sister and kill her, because suddenly mom-dad loved her more (I was the only child till age 7)! The reason I gave was – dad bought her 26 new dresses, and got me only 2 :( Btw, my 2 cost thrice of her 26. But how would that matter to a 7 yr old kid!

14. I learnt driving very early – illegal I know. But, I rode my uncle’s motor-cycle and across the India-Bangladesh border at 15! The BSF jawans totally adored my presence, as I entertained them with Bombay life tit-bits!

15. I got my parents and myself to the front page of the Times of India. No, I had not murdered anyone, nor did I win the Oscars – but I just managed to top the 12th board exams. Don’t ask me how… Some people claim, I stuck Rs. 500 notes on my answer sheets!

16. I have been fined Rs. 100 for wearing jeans & a top to a college in the city of glamour, read Mumbai (apparently, girls were supposed to wear only Indian clothes in there… *phew*)

17. I still kiss my parents goodbye every morning when I leave for work. I have been doing this since my kindergarten days…

18. I am a very talkative person. I can go on and on and on…

19. I am ultra-romantic at heart… I love azure skies, ocean blue waters, mild winters… I have my ideas about someone being made specially for me. Dil to Pagal Hai types!

20. I love traveling.

21. One of my close buddies told me years ago – “You sound sexy on the phone” and I would still love to believe its true ;)

22. I got an award titled “My wardrobe can dress half of Africa” – That’s self explanatory I guess!

23. I am a lazy bum. I hate walking. I seldom take the train or the bus.

24. My ambitions in life have kept vacillating. I wanted to become a doctor to take revenge with Dr. XYZ who injected a crappy thing in me when I was 6. Later I wanted to be a tempo-driver who delivered “Peppy” chips to the grocery store downstairs. (Rationale was – I would own all the chips packets in the tempo, and would not need to ask mom every time for it!)

25. I think one day I will make it Big – Where, when, how etc. I don’t know. :) Amen!

-Ships

Different people, Different meanings!

2009-01-15T23:33:00.000-08:00

Time for some school time stories…

Scene 1
Somewhere in the bustling city of Bombay…
Little Miss S, not so little anymore, was looking at her X board results, and to her dismay she had scored just 88.93%, which fell short of the merit position, at the same time, lowering her over all rank in school to the third position. * Sigh *

She had never been third before. She was upset, terribly upset… But as always, her dear dad, patted her back, said, “Wow, my Princess, you stood first among girls! Let’s Party!!”

Scene 2
A quaint little corner in Calcutta…
The house was bustling with a lot of celebrations today!
Why? Because, little sunny boy had scored 86.57%, thus bagging the second position in school. That was the very second time he stood second! It was an exhilarating moment.

The proud dad said, “That’s my smartest boy! Let’s Party!!”

Scene 3
In the neighboring street, jus next to sunny boy’s house stayed Neil…

He had secured a 61.99% and his rank was 22nd in his section. His family was terribly upset. Coming from a family where his both parents were IAS officers, all aunts and uncles were either doctors or engineers, he sure was an odd man out.

He didn’t seem any bothered about the same. His grandfather tried to confront him by saying, “Khokon shona, you should do better in studies. You know your dad was a born winner. Never stood second… and…”

Before Grandpa could finish off, Neil interrupted with a very somber face, “Yes, grandpa, I am continuing the family tradition… I have never stood second, never… The closest I have been to it was in Standard VII when I got the fourth rank…”

Grandpa couldn’t help, but laughed his heart out and said, “Well done son! Let’s Party!!”

-Ships

P.S. Inputs gathered from a close friend over chat!

The last email...

2009-01-12T02:21:00.000-08:00

“Dear A,

Long time ha! How have you been? I could not get my hands on your latest number. But I thought I should share this news with you. Who else could be happier for me than my best friend?

Yes honey, I recently got engaged and I am marrying on the 12th of February. It all happened oh so suddenly! I will tell you more about it when you come. Should I ask you formally now, that Gentleman, please grace this occasion with your august presence. Wink! Wink!

It’d make my happiness double-fold.
I will wait to hear back from you.

Cheers!
E

P.S.: Some pics from the engagement ceremony and the wedding invitation.”

Ameet stared at the email for the next fifteen minutes. Looked at the thumbnails… Didn’t feel like opening the attachments… A thousand and one memories passed by. He then clicked on the dropdown list and moved this email to the folder named “MyPrincess”.

‘859 emails from my Princess’, he thought. ‘But she isn’t mine to keep any longer.’

There was a little tear which dropped from the corner of his right eye.

It had been 7 years of knowing her. 3 years of an effervescent friendship – a brusque period of love – followed by 4 turbulent years of upstage friendship across oceans.

She had moved on with her life years back. But he never did. He never even tried.

Today was the right time or so he thought. He had years of excess baggage, the undying love and care for her which never ceased to exit. But today he wanted to tell her, that he really doesn’t need to know if she’s marrying or not – anymore.

“Dear E,

I wish I could say I was happy for you, but I would be lying.

You really didn’t have to reach out. I thought I had made peace with how things were.
I am humane. I can’t feign happiness. So much as you would like me to be happy for you, I would want you to crave for me and be sad about losing me forever.

I have always hated the fact how I can’t tear away myself from you. But, no more...

It was nice knowing your innocent ways, the way you smiled, the way you cared for me, the way we were always happy in the gloomiest of times…. But I don’t want to know anymore how you are, where you are, who you are marrying or what you are wearing for your marriage or if you are gonna do the ‘bad-girl’ stint as we had planned years back on your wedding night…

No reason was ever good enough to let go of you. But the very reason that you let me go is reason enough for me to not keep trail of your life. Please help me in my endeavor to keep my life simple.

Thank you very much for everything.

No more yours,
A

P.S.: A zip file with all our saved conversations, some sweet, some not so memorable. Mebbe we will meet again in another life then again mebbe not.”

----

Ameet is one of my best buddies. It was not easy for him to do what he did. I kept thinking about the whole thing and felt sad for how things were.

Later in the day, I casually happened to ask Adi, “You ever had a broken relationship?”

Without an eye’s blink he said, “No.”

Even before I could admire how good he must have been with his love, he made his second statement, “They either stuck.... or never got made!”

We started laughing about the dialogue delivery.
But this statement of his got me thinking…

Things happen if they are meant to happen…
Amen.

P.S. This is an excerpt from real life, with people names changed.

-Ships

Love you, My Guinea Pig!

2008-12-18T03:57:00.000-08:00

It was my lil bro's birthday yesterday. It was all in all a wonderful day.
At 00:00 hours, we (me and my sis) wished him a very happy birthday, handed over an elaborately decorated gift... He was impressed. He opened it very properly with utmost care. To his horror, he found a branded underwear! He kept a straight face, feigning happiness over the innovative gift!

Hehe... and then we gifted him a larger packet which held a vest! Then a shirt, then a t-shirt...
He loved it, and thought it was over... hugged us... but hello, yeh dil maange more! We had a Flat TV as his birthday present too... He simply loved it.

And last but not the least, I gifted him a few words... He adored it. So I am sharing it here, with his due permission. (Some parts of it are very circumstantial and at points embarrassing too!)

Enjoy!

Love you, My Guinea Pig!

Seventeen long years, yet not out…
Every morning, you hear me shout
Arpan, Get out of the bathroom
Else, here I come with a broom

You were a tiny tot when I first held you
All my Rakhi tying dreams came true
Your insane antics put me into splits
Sometimes giggled at your pant’s slits!

An awesome mimic you sure are,
Often invite trouble; causing self to park the car!
Like Sis – Like Bro: You hog on to chicken like greedy
Next morning, mom’s keeps Metrogyl pills ready!

From a kid, to a heart-wooing pro
I am proud of you, my smart grown up bro!
That cute, innocent little child
These days is turning a little wild!

Trust him, and you are his to care for life
His traits will certainly fetch him a wonderful wife!
A little lazy, a little weird at times, doesn’t matter…
Constant like glue that binds us together

For a BMW and a mansion, work hard, stay steady
With time, as a perk, you will also get a gorgeous lady!
I am sure, in life you’ll make it big
Love you loads, my guinea pig….

Ships
17th Dec, ‘08

PICK and CHOOSE aka OPTIONS

2008-11-06T03:32:00.000-08:00

Well, for starters, yours truly has been very busy these days.... Naah, not with work, but with her new found hobby, aka trading! So, isn't it obvious that post would be on my experiences with the same... Read on.

PICK and CHOOSE

Work looked meager
Hours seemed longer…

With rains gone, the skies were sunny
When a friend said “Let’s make money”!

Stocks markets were new to me
A sound trader, could I ever be?

With Demat and trading account done
Directly thrown into options - was fun!

The markets were crashing
And my puts were cashing!

Felt like God for a while
But markets are hard to beguile!

Now things have changed
And my luck’s estranged!

When I buy calls
The market further falls…

Straddles and strangles, interesting terms they use
To hide all that hard earned money that you lose!

When you lose more, you sink in your chair
When you gain some, there’s music in the air

A recursive reaction which does not stop
From one lot of options to another you hop!

Good or bad, it’s a fair deal
Brings back in you, ardor and zeal!

After all, life is all about ‘pick and choose’
You win some, and some you lose!

Ships

"There's a light that never goes out"

2008-09-23T23:35:00.000-07:00

Circa 1990
It was cold and lazy outside, but he had been really busy. He had been so for the last couple of months.

So it had to be. After all, it was his sweetest and youngest sister’s wedding! Tonight she would leave for her new ménage, leaving a thousand memories behind. Ah, it would be so heart wrenching for him to see her leave…

But, Prafulla today, just like his name, was happy, really happy. After all, Puspa was getting married to her beloved after the entire wait. As evening approached, he took out his best pair of kurtas and the new gold kurta buttons he’d specifically got designer made for donning on his sister’s wedding. It was his happiest day.

The baraat entered dot on time. Amidst this entire hustle bustle, his mother took him to a corner and hushed in a tensed tone, “Bor-er jonyo buttons gulo koi?” (Where are the buttons to gift to the groom on arrival?)

Alas, they were misplaced and that too at the eleventh hour! Without any moment’s delay, he handed her the buttons from his closet which he had saved for himself for this coveted occasion.

He didn’t wear any kurta that day…

Circa 2008
There was a faint smile on his face as he was opening the gift.

A few words about today…

His family was celebrating his birthday. Technically, he wasn’t born this day. However, this day meant more… Two years back, same day, he came back alive fighting strong with the death demons. Today he’s alive and kicking only due to his strong will. What flows in his veins isn’t blood, but the love of his dearest family.

The gift was in red decorated with a lovely violet ribbon. His daughter stood there eagerly to see the first reaction on his face as he opened her gift. Some time before she returned home today, her mother had gifted him flowers of Rajnigandha (Tuberose). Prafulla loved these flowers since his childhood. He was glad to have a family like his.

The red tiny box was still an enigma… However, he kept grinning; like he almost knew what was in there.

Yes indeed! They were exquisite gold kurta buttons! Like it was God’s own sweet way of saying thanks for your patience! Not that, he never got any buttons made after his sister’s wedding. But it wasn’t the same after that. Those feelings and sentiments were hard to get back.
He faintly recalled talking about it to his daughter once. He was glad she remembered. He smiled at her, acknowledging it. Father and daughter had many such silent conversations till date. They just knew each other so perfectly. He was glad everyone loved him so much.

There was an awkward silence for a moment. Emotions deluge… He went and kissed his wife “Now’s that’s my daughter! Thank you for bearing the pain at her birth, Sweetheart”; and he winked. He was exuberant. He couldn’t stop laughing the entire evening. There was a little tear in the corner of his eyes, but that went unnoticed.

Ships

P. S. The title of the post is from a song, which happens to a friend's favorite. :)

Tainted

2008-09-15T10:39:00.000-07:00

Weird… But will put up these tainted verses…

I ceaselessly write about life, about this entrancing dance
About the interweave of friendship, love and romance…
I write about you, sure a soul’s delight
End to pain, I see a soothing light

I am flying free with a dreamy dream
I see my new wings and I want to scream
Of happiness, but alas it’s a mirage I know
With each day passing, I don’t wanna let you go

Just when a solacing candlelight spills my room
The thoughts of meeting with you soon…
Discovering the both of us amidst this
Perfections, imperfections; her and his…

In time I became attached to you
Hugs in ample, kisses few
I soon saw how close we were,
However now you are nowhere near.

From the days of not knowing your college
Till date, where of eternity we pledge
I am speechless what to say
It is a mess up all the way

I envisage a whole new world
So many things yet to unfold
You often go beyond that extra mile
To only but make me smile

Yes, you bring out the best in me
But…

-Ships

A birthday like never before

2008-07-24T03:48:00.000-07:00

Recently, I wished a friend on his birthday. He did, like the craziest thing I heard on his birthday! Read on…

A birthday like never before

The clock struck eleven in the night
I heard my roomies silently fight
My birthday cake, they’d forgotten to order
I said, “Chillax! Don’t bother!”

The clock struck twelve, when out of nowhere
I saw a thing, at which I had to but, stare!
On the table lay a huge full Tandoori Chicken
Aluminum-foil covered knife from the kitchen!

Was I looking foolish or what,
Cutting a Tandoori, which was piping hot?
Hail my roomies, I love you a lot,
The gifts, the awesome time, I will forget not…

‘Was the most awaited day of the year…
Friends, celebrations, fun and games
Phones, gifts, and bum chums calling names
The only something missing was you my dear…

-Ships

All The Words And The Silence…

2008-06-22T03:13:00.000-07:00

Candid me spoke to you about all the men in my life

You never detailed the no woman in your life.

You love me because I am compelling...

Worse is that I know of it, still feigning…

I’m scared you might stop loving me as much someday

Afraid you might be gone whilst alone here I lay.

You claim to have discovered me in and out,

But I am scared you know nothing of what I am about.

The real me you discover might not be alike,
Or more so you might pretend the stranger in me you still like.

So I preempt and become what you want me to be,

Coiffe things the way you like to see.

Oblivious of my true self, I stopped being me,

Unknowingly or otherwise, had made you my destiny…

Together in the magnificent cabriolet, we sojourn

I lift my hair slowly, to show you the earring I adorn

The one sparkling lease of life you’d once gifted me

And filled my heart with endless glee…

You never explicitly expressed how special I was to you

I meant more than that to you, but I knew.

Although it would have been nice to hear it in your own quiet

Your suppressed smirk quite made a lovely sight.

A shining diamond which is hard to miss

I don’t tell you to caress my hair or blow a silent kiss

Like always, you don’t understand it either.

I turn to the window and shed a silent tear.

Nothing seems to matter anymore

Yet everything does matter…

Angels pass by

The uncomfort subdues…

You still are what I call ‘my’

Time again for a truce…

There are times I want to hear from you

Interim I promise myself, Oh this one last time…

Then again, I wait,

Wait a little more…

And I call…

End it with a fight, a silent promise chalked…

I won’t call again

But alas, next day you call,

And I forget what I swore…

-Ships

So Near, Yet So Far...

2008-06-12T23:04:00.000-07:00

Once upon a time there lived a cherubic little boy and a sweet little girl in a land far away where garden pinks stood sentinel, lush mountains graced the surroundings with its warmth and luster, grazing greens added to the glee, flanked by fantastic hues of the morning dawn and the lovely amber of the succinic setting set; where fear was none, life was fun. They played, they pondered, and they smiled on the hills yonder.

Till one fine day, they grew wise enough to search for a livelihood. Realities of life knocked the door, opportunities seized at a go. They entered the land of the boisterous sounds, the honking grounds, the crowded lanes and the dirty city drains. The lovely couple was still happy working next to each other.

However, not all stories are nice and fun… some are gloomy and wrung. What went wrong, one may wonder. Yes, indeed it was the burden of expectations asunder. She yearned for attention, for intimacy, for care, for belongingness… He loved her enough, but circumstances kept inveigling his stance. He couldn’t demonstrate enough that he cared, not withstanding much. But yes, he still loved her more than himself.

Every morning, she’d still wait for that one voice she loved to hear, for that one scribbling she loved to see, for that one glimpse she’d die for, for that one touch she can’t forget. But alas, the city muffled all sweet voices into silence, buried all memories into rubbles, and burnt all desires into dirty fusain.

From days yonder where they talked about everything under the sun till those days which went by without a single conversation. Life is such – an enigma, changing hues with every passing moment. Faces changed, places altered, pinnacles reached. Yet that one thing stayed ablaze, one thing outrode unscathed.

Years passed… a lifetime passed by…

Paths crossed once again. She was stunning as always. He was charming as ever.

That one thing was their undying love. True Love never dies. The girl and the boy are old now… Eyes have turned weak, but yet they never miss the wonderful colors of the setting sun; their body fails them, but they trudge along and walk hand in hand with their sticks.

Such is love – up and down the roller coaster. The journey is fun as long as you’re next to each other, eyes closed; yet you know someone lives for you, someone can die for you.

Such is love, self less, spiral, never-ending… Don’t waste a life-time by not expressing enough. Go ahead and speak your heart out.

Exceed expectations, and life will be an ethereal experience. Likewise, stop expecting… everything will feel like bliss. Amen.

-Ships

IN SEARCH OF HAPPINESS...

2008-04-23T09:12:00.000-07:00

A happy-go-lucky, jovial guy he was
Spreading happiness with his sweet applesauce
Had never experienced pain nor loss
Until one fine day life pressed the button ‘PAUSE’

The lost soul wandering through the arcades of life,
Finally found a lady who he wanted to make his wife…
Thought this was real happiness and end of all strife
But alas he forgot life’s like a double-edged knife…

Nay, the girl was comely, wise and nice
Cooked a dishes many, his favorite chicken n rice
But he’d missed a very important side of the dice
His parents misread virtues as vice

A successful lady, a brilliant daughter of a doting father…
If she wanted even the hardest water could lather
Couldn’t pass the test which to her the most mattered
What was missing, she just couldn’t gather…

Vice one, to him she was elder
Well, didn’t seem like it when he held her
Vice two was an imaginary one,
Mom feared she’d take away her son…

Mom’s fears were not totally baseless
History and events had proved a lot could mess
She was just being cautious and finding ways
Unwilling to meet the truth face to face…

A homely girl, a comely mother
Both in search of happiness, tearing apart from each other
Clearing things up could’ve indeed helped
But instead, at the boy, they individually yelped

Many nights all of them hadn’t slept
Until one fine day, the formerly happy guy just left
Couldn’t keep the promises he made
In search of happiness, he wept

Finding a balance is very difficult many a time
That’s when life calls the shots and you just mime
At times, listening to your heart is a crime
Parents are your true treasure; it’s only you for who they pine.

- Ships

INEXPLICABLE

2008-04-19T00:08:00.000-07:00

By the way, I had my convocation on the 29th of last month. (and lo’… with that all my primary education goes down the drain… my English teacher would have rolled up her eyes at my very first statement starting with a by-the-way!) I left my alma mater around a week back. Probably this was my last foray in the world of carefree student life. Hence forth, I would be a daughter, a sister, a co-worker, an employee, a friend, a lover, a wife, a mother, anything… BUT, a student. There were lots of thoughts, inhibitions, a galore of memories coupled with happy-sad moments hovering in my head. I had thought of penning down my feelings… but realized soon that any number of words could not do justice to how I felt then. I am back in my beloved den… unwinding in the relaxing environs of my cozy little room, thinking of what to pen down next… Here’s something I have been thinking about of late. Read on…

There’s love, there’s friendship and then… there are some bonds which are beyond both… These bonds are simply inexplicable. It’s a convoluted puzzle.

You share your world with your friend. For you, your lover is your world. And then, there is this other disjoint set of people, who you consider to be the pillars of your own little microcosm. You must have hardly met up with them more than a few times in your life, but still they are more special than anyone else.

Both of us had been academic rivals until school days. And then we parted ways, studied in different colleges. One fine day we met online and ever since the conversations never ended. Now we stay in two opposite ends of the earth, but in moments happy or sad; find each other just a phone call away. Years down the memory lane, we find solace in each other, so much so that we had to camouflage a teary eye with a meek smile while parting last summer when I had to come back to India after my internship. Once my Rakhi brother, he now means more than my world to me. Who says, only blood relations stay intact?

And… there’s this friend who was just an acquaintance I met at a couple of group discussions, and ever since he has been there rowing my boat safe to the shore amidst the turbulent waters, through most of my travails and candid confessions in the past couple of years. We have never shared the same point of view about anything till date, but still we have stuck on as friends. Pen-pals cum phone-pals…

And now there’s this friend of mine, who I met just once during a college fest, with faint memories of how he looked and how he sounded. We are in different continents, yet love each other’s company. It’s so strange that in spite of being an enigma for each other, we spend so much time talking about all possible varied things under the sun.

These bonds are beyond friendship. These are the people in whom one finds it easy to confide both your good and your bad sides. They are high up on the pedestal of priority sometimes. Talking to them is more important than even having a conversation with a friend who’s come to visit me! What is it that makes them so special? It is not even that we share the same likes and dislikes. We don’t even agree on most of the issues. Still…

Weird, isn’t it?

-Ships

The Pictures On My Wall

2008-02-26T02:42:00.000-08:00

Hi friends,

Time for another scribbling!
Well... To set the context, these are my last few days in this renowned campus… Nostalgia made me write this poem. It was just a scrabbling written over a few minutes. Before I could revisit it or modify, a friend of mine asked me to send it across… I treasure what he said, “I love it when people are very good without trying to be too flamboyant… It’s in simplicity (not in terms of ornate language, simplicity of thought) that true geniuses can be found…” I feel so honored! So I decided not to make it resplendent with more of my colorful thoughts! :P
Blame him for that, not me! Here you go…

The Pictures On My Wall

The many pictures on my coveted wall
The red bricks and pillars tall
WIMWI… I didn’t like you at all

The famous Red bricks made it look like a jail
A heavy heart, sad eyes, a face quite pale
I left good ol’ Mumbai, from where I hail…

And lo’ I entered the WIMWI land
Sailed through the lovely days
Drudged along hand in hand…

Preppy days were fun
Spent nights at the LKP
Welcoming the rising sun

Prep course ended eventually
A stint back home; I missed WIMWI totally

After the jaunt, came back here
Oh no! Things had changed…
By then, the tucchas had taken gear

It was travail, felt like hell
For them: crunching merriment
However, all’s well that ends well!

Placements season later took toll
How many Day 0s?
People contested poll.

Tucchas left; we felt like Gods
Internship, PPO and company IPods!

Role reversal
Enjoyed every moment
Saw angst of our fachhas
Did things we won’t still repent ;)

Joy, merriment, fun galore
Relations changed, some sweet some sour
Clicking pictures is still a daily chore…

WIMWI, I do not like you at all
Ahh… still for you my heart pains…
And all of which remains…
Are the pictures on my little wall…

-Ships

The photograph: That’s my room's hall of fame. It's filled with pictures of all my beloveds; be it family or friends. Love ya all... Will miss my room, this wall of fame, and this place ...

Top of the world feeling...

2008-01-30T04:06:00.000-08:00

Time for another update… A friend of mine has been pestering me to update my blog since ages; and I kept dillydallying… Couldn’t find of anything to write on; or simply may be I was too lethargic!

So, what am I going to pen down tonight? Read on…

Years ago, I had this friend of mine, really close. Well, I was in kindergarten then, so really close friends meant she was my neighbour’s daughter. :D They shifted to a different place, but we stayed in touch. Pen pals, and now email pals.

Yesterday, Poonam sent me a photograph of guy and told me that he was the love of her life. I was amazed. Na, not that the guy wasn’t nice… Just that he didn’t resemble anything of what she’d wanted. A couple of years back; we had a girly discussion on the kind of guys we were looking for. She wanted a quintessential suave, tall, dark and handsome biker, smart dresser, glib talker, versatile persona, cynosure of all parties, heartthrob of every woman, decent, lovable, demonstrative of his love at all possible occasions, neat and tidy and of course with loads of disposable income! And hey, our common requirements were inclusive of a non-snoring Prince Charming! Lol!

This guy she introduced me to was a stark contrast. Average height, not too brawny, uncouth, down-to-earth, bourgeoisie from a respectable family… He definitely wasn’t the kind who would’ve taken out gals on dates or sung songs on stage or danced like a dream. From what she described of him, he was the most unkempt guy she’d met in her life. Not a great taste of dressing, neither a glib talker. She also merrily described how awkward it was for him to hug her for the first time. The astonishment on my face was evident to her. After having finished her description of him, she asked me the question I was dreading to answer, “So… What do you think of him?”

And lo’ I was groping for words; when she took it on from there and said, “I know what you are thinking. He doesn’t even have a bike; and on top of it he also occasionally smokes… he’s just not what I was looking for. Right?”

“Yeah… You said it!”

“Well, Shipra. Let me explain. He’s not tall, but tall enough. He’s not dark, but dark enough. He’s…”

“But, you’d mentioned he also snores!”

“Well, the comfort in his arms is comparable to nothing else. He puts me to sleep first. I don’t care if he snores… And I know he smokes, but he’s quitting. And it feels so good to know, he’s doing it for you. When he smiles, it feels like heaven. Glib talker? Is that a necessity? He’s glib enough… He’s someone I can talk to for hours together. I need no super hero. I just need a man who loves me like no one else does. For the guy we were dreaming of, I might have meant the world to him; but for Jeet, I Am His World. I have never been this happy before. I am on the top of the world.”

I was overwhelmed. Life’s indeed stranger than fiction. May be, I too will end up with an idiotic sweetheart!

Amen!

There’s a song by Carpenters. Indeed a perfect way to end this post.

Such a feeling’s coming over me

There is wonder in most everything I see

Not a cloud in the sky, got the sun in my eyes

And I won’t be surprised if it’s a dream

Everything I want the world to be

Is now coming true especially for me

And the reason is clear, Its because you are here

You’re the nearest thing to heaven that I’ve seen

I’m on the top of the world looking down on creation

And the only explanation I can find

Is the love that I’ve found ever since you’ve been around

Your loves put me at the top of the world

Something in the wind has learned my name

And its telling me that things are not the same

In the leaves on the trees and the touch of the breeze

There’s a pleasing sense of happiness for me

There is only one wish on my mind

When this day is through I hope that I will find

That tomorrow will be just the same for you and me

All I need will be mine if you are here

-Ships

JUST ENJOYING YOU...

2007-11-23T07:04:00.000-08:00

From strangers, to friends, to close friends, and beyond…

I never knew, before knowing you,

how empty my life had been.

I thought I was happy. I thought I was successful.
What you brought into my life can never be assessed.

We are so very different, you and I.

And yet so much the same.

We talk.

I valued most the way we talked

about any thing any time any where.

And each time I listen to you,

each time I ponder what you've said,

I learn something new.

About you. About me. About the world.

I've learned to trust in your instincts.

I love the vitality and zest that is so much a part of you.

I never would have believed the breeze, could be so filled with life.

I treasure that spark of spirit in you,

that flashing flare of fire that animates all that you do.

It's easy to see how much you love life,

even when life is sometimes less than lovable,

and that love is always mirrored in your eyes and smile.

You are impatient and easy to anger,

too intolerant when you should tolerate,

too forgiving when you shouldn't forgive.

You allow the stresses of life to mold your day,

allow the commitments of life to shape your way.

I know your imperfections as well as your perfections,

know your faults as well as your assets.

And I find I like you not in spite of those,

but as much because of them as anything else.

I love the way you understand me too well.

It's uncanny sometimes how well you know

my thoughts, my feelings, my moods,

frightening at times how closely our lives have become interlinked.

You know so much of me,

secrets I've never told,thoughts I've never shared,

parts of me I've never seen myself.

You've discovered a window into my being,

a window I didn't know was there,

a window no one else has ever found.

I love the way we have fun doing the strangest things,

or the way we can enjoy each other doing nothing at all.

We shop and walk, eat and talk,

playing games apart and united.

We study and drill, work and play,

listening to music and singing the words together.

We have fun with each other,

frolicking in our shared pleasures,

you enjoying the thrill of life,

me just enjoying you...

-Ships

Impossible is Nothing

2007-09-15T03:28:00.001-07:00

When I found you, I thought I had the entire world…
Acquaintances to friends amidst taunts, was a decision bold.

From strangers to friends; and now back as a stranger;
Tranquil, humor, vibrant, solitary, livid; now fierce to fiercer…
Such has our relation transcended, now on the edge just trembles
O’ how my heart breaks to see the remnants and shambles…

Loud are the silent screams of our hearts today,
Buried deep down, my lacerated feelings lay
Am I afraid of losing what is near?
O’ All I wish is that you still were here.

I just heard you call my name, just heard your whispers,
But lo’ as I turned around, your silhouette just disappears.
Just heard you whistle my name, on my click you just said cheeeez…
Alas I was wrong! It wasn’t you, but, just the evening breeze.

No longer shielded by love, nor guarded from hurt and pain,
What out of all this do we both gain?
Humans sure have egos huge,
All left is anguish and tears deluge.

Deep in your heart, you know we're drifting apart
Isn’t friendship just like a game of dart?
In the want of hitting the perfect bulls eye,
You tear apart the board; make it bleed in every try…

You no longer smile down at me, letting me know
That I still have a shoulder to cry on when low
You don’t watch over me any more, not even a frown
All left of my memories is - on your table, my pair of shades brown

I am lost like an abandoned ship on the sea
Looking for options, every moment, anywhere to flee

Look how the Impossible has happened…

- Ships

SLEEPY HOLLOW

2007-07-18T09:34:00.000-07:00

Today, I attended a session of LAB (Legal Aspects of Business) with the other section. I was so sleepy, that the only way, I probably could keep awake was by scribbling! The outcome of my scrabbling is pasted below! Enjoy reading... FYI: The protagonist is one of the student panelists.

It’s yet another LAB class,
Without a beaker or a test tube glass!
A course which discusses legality,
Throwing light on prevalent immorality.

Painful ‘coz the classroom’s a horse-shoe,
Anywhere you sleep, the prof can see you!
He rambles about cases true,
Every session a student panel is due.

Today was my panel day…
The day that should never come, we pray!
I entered the class-room, groomed in red;
Lest I forget my case-facts, I dread.

But alack, alas… I opened my inning,
The mic made its way from the very beginning!
The previous day’s case was to be discussed…
Gracious! Before class, a friend had buzzed!

I went on rambling till I made some sense
The other two panelists pillowing hence!
Battling from the last row, I could see…
Sleepy hollows staring blankly at me!

I see so many sleepy heads
Caressing the wooden benches like cozy beds!
I see a friend…
His head tilted like the leaning tower of Pisa
O Leonardo!
Paint his portrait…Why do you need Mona Lisa!

A class of seventy… only two know what’s on,
Talks of legal battles; amidst many a yawn!
Suddenly the previous panelists were cold-called
O boy, I can’t tell you how much I was enthralled!

A sigh of relief, I am done with my part…
Talking non-stop non-sense is such an art!
‘What’s your learning for the day?’ asked he;
“A skilled cunning lawyer I can never be!”

-Ships

White flag

2007-06-28T13:13:00.001-07:00

Hi friends...

So far... so good. Woken up from the short hiatus! Was listening to this song after a long time today... The lyrics are just awesome. So thought of sharing it with you guys.

Here you go...

"White Flag"

I know you think that

I shouldn't still love you,

Or tell you that.

But if I didn't say it,

well I'd still have felt it

where's the sense in that?

I promise I'm not trying to make your life harder

Or return to where we were

I will go down with this ship

And I won't put my hands up and surrender

There will be no white flag above my door

I'm in love and always will be

I know I left too much mess and destruction

to come back again

And I caused nothing but trouble

I understand if you can't talk to me again

And if you live by the rules of "it's over"

then I'm sure that that makes sense

I will go down with this ship

And I won't put my hands up and surrender

There will be no white flag above my door

I'm in love and always will be

And when we meet

Which I'm sure we will

All that was thereWill be there still

I'll let it pass

And hold my tongue

And you will think

That I've moved on....

I will go down with this ship

And I won't put my hands up and surrender

There will be no white flag above my door

I'm in love and always will be

I will go down with this ship

And I won't put my hands up and surrender

There will be no white flag above my door

I'm in love and always will be...

- Dido

-Ships

First the sea… then the Universe!

2007-05-15T20:57:00.000-07:00

Wondering what the title means?
Find out more…

Fri, 11th may: 11 pm

I board the Greyhound for Los Angeles. If you think these buses are fantabulous, wait a minute; they are nothing when compared to the kind of comfort our very own desi travels like Raj Express provide. Anyways, staggering along; the bus reached LA on time. My clasped feet touched ground, my nose inhaled fresh air after seven long hours!

Sat, 12th May: 7 am

Lo’ where’s my friend? He was supposed to receive me! PANIC. But you know, these guys… never reach on time, even if it were their gf… and I was just another friend; too optimistic to assume, he’d reach on time! So after an arduous wait at the terminal, I finally heaved a sigh of relief on seeing his car! ‘HAPPY BIRTHDAY, buds’ said I, and the expression on his face – “Err… my birthday? Oh yes! The rest of the world forgot about it… so did I!”

Sat, 12th May: 9 am

On your mark… Get… Set… Go!
We head out to San Diego’s Sea world for a family outing. All guys group with a couple of parents… So no doubt about me – the *only good little gal*, being pampered throughout! SeaWorld is definitely worth a watch… fun rides, great exhibits, awesome shows! Shamu – killer whales rocked! My friend still sulking that his room mates forgot his birthday, oblivious of the fact that they were planning a nice birthday party later in the night… shhhhh!

Sat, 12th May: 9pm
We head back to LA. Me in his car… praying hard… why?
Many reasons...
*Being in a new driver’s car is an adventure as long as you are alive :D
*Being with a person who’s been sulking all day long isn’t easy either :))
*The tensions build up all the more when the driver’s tired & sleepy too…
*Plus the added responsibility of camouflaging phone talks with rest of the gang, and help planning the birthday party; sitting right next to the one you gotta surprise!

Sat, 12th May: 11pm
Phew! We reach home… All’s set… Birthday bash! Another party downstairs… we join in. It’s 5.30 am…. Time to sleep! Universal at 9 tomo… that’s being too Pollyannaish again!

Sun, 13th May: 1pm

Check the deviation from the planned timing : D… But, I must say, NOT BAD! Universal Studios – here I come… A fun place to be… Be there to Believe it!
Then the Hollywood walk of fame… everything went the way it should have been… a good weekend… but wait a minute… Murphy can’t be that kind to me! My bus got delayed by an hour and a half… a few frantic calls to people! And finally… reached San Francisco sound and safe!

End of yet another eventful weekend!
Did ya enjoy the weekend?

-Ships

One last Good-bye

2007-05-06T21:11:00.000-07:00

It’s a lazy Sunday morning… Till sometime back, I was planning to visit the zoo. My brother teased me saying, “Damn good… Perfect place for you.” One naughty kiddie he is!

Right now I’m all geared up, donning my best look and wearing my new running shoes… but I don’t feel like venturing out any more. Just chatted with one of my bestest buddies. He is damn depressed… I wish I could help him out, but alas life is unforgiving.

I don’t understand why happiness is just a mirage to the nicest of people. It’s like a butterfly. The more you wanna catch it, the farther it tries to get.

This to you buds… Time heals all… I know exactly what you are thinking.

One last good-bye…

Yes, I told her today
It’s my heart. Not a toy,
With which she can play.

I should have done it before
But always hoped she’d come to me,
Gazing yearningly at the door…

Always been her closest friend
Trust me, when I say,
Didn’t want this to end…

I know she needs me still
To share her fantasies and crushes
Can’t put a sham anymore, it would kill

All’s done… All’s over
Don’t know why I’m still crying
Alone, brooding beneath my bedcover...

Enough is enough…
Won’t contact her again.
Will try out every thing
To come out of this pain

My sis says, ‘Buds u r the best’
So I will be… Will move on
Leaving behind the rest…

I won’t go down with this ship,
It has sailed through
It’s time for me to take a dip.

Will swim ashore with a smile

The last I was truly happy?
It’s certainly been a while…

I will live life again
Make new friends…
No anguish… no feign…

-Ships

I hate Murphy!

2007-04-27T17:35:00.000-07:00

Yes, it’s been long… Time for another post ha? The lazy me says… Oh c’mon… Laters… But the diligent I, allegiant to my blog says… ‘Go Shipra, Go… Pen down all the wonderful memories, and moments you want to treasure for a lifetime.’ Aha!

Naaa… the real reason is, ever since I started blogging, there have been archives for every month, but if I don’t update it soon, the April archive would be missing!! Now you know it all :D

For beginners, I am based out of San Francisco for my summer internship and I must say – It’s a lovely place and the city in general is very amicable. Let’s talk about my journey so far:

Week 1: Jet lagged?

Well… no… it was Jet, Set… Go! Work started Monday. Weekdays were good fun working with a well-knit team. Weekend was great. Visited some unheard of, but one of the most scenic places, viz. Sausalito.

Week 2: Settled? You wish!

Just when I thought, I knew it all, Murphy tricked me.

Week 2, Day 1: I decide to get to my client location all by myself. (Had been there the last week…)

And lo’… the Caltrain stopped at Mountain View, not ready to budge! Somehow I reach Sunnyvale… All it would ideally take to reach my destination from there, was a cab… But hello, did someone say that ‘a taxi in US is at your fingertips… just a phone call away’? I believe, they were miles away on the east coast! A nice 20 minute wait for the cab, when finally it came staggering and I got in without further delay… wait… the ordeal was not over yet… I reached the wrong location.

It was the client’s other location. Realization dawned upon me when I saw the buildings which were not the same one’s which I entered the last week… A frantic call to my team… but alas, it went into voicemail… O hell Murphy… I hate you so much… I could see the taxi exiting the campus gates… I could do nothing… It was too late…

Well, I enter the building, hoping to find some soul who could throw some light on the location, but alas Building ‘A’ had no receptionist. I parted with my manners for a while and barged into some random soul’s cabin and asked for directions. He was kind enough and showed me where the receptionist was. Building ‘D’ – that’s where she sits… Wow… what great logic!

She seemed like an angel to me right then, who could help me reach my true destination. Looking at my lost eyes, she knew what she needed to do… The cab arrived in another 10 minutes. I reached the place finally after a nice three hour long journey – almost twice the time, it would normally take. As I entered my team room, the smile on my face was that of a warrior, who had returned home victorious after an arduous battle!

Week 2, Day 2: Murphy strikes again…

Fed up of the ordeal, I decide to stay back at Milpitas for the next day. I pack a few apparels and head off to my office the next day. But alas, there aren’t any rooms available at none of the Hotels out there! I guess that’s San Francisco’s way of telling me that I need to come back again. The city misses me! :D

Now digressing from my Murphy tales, I must say… San Francisco is one of the most beautiful places on earth. But again… there’s no place as beautiful as my home back there in Mumbai.

After all, decorative red-wood and resplendent interiors can just make a grand house… there’s a lot more than that, that goes into making it a home.

Miss you Mumbai!

-Ships

Sans Title, Sans Meaning?

2007-03-25T11:14:00.000-07:00

Amidst drudgery and this hopeless season
Our meeting was without any rhyme or reason
In spite of the worldly worries we gelled so well
The fate of our friendship, time will tell…

Without obscure motives I write for you
For our bond, it might act as glue!
What people think of us, I care a zilch…
Our budding friendship they can’t lynch.

You are cherubic, full of fun and life
You really deserve a vegetarian wife [:D]
At this you might be fuming with anger
Its good fun, sulk a little longer!

You are a nut, there no doubt about that
Wonder how you’ve a many accolades on your hat?
Most facinating conversationalist I have ever seen
Enshrouded by humility which ain’t a feign.

Heard that you sing only in vain
Now you don’t, that’s what you claim,
Hey buds, I’d say that’s totally unfair
Sing more often outside your lair!

An amazing listener, with jokes galore
You can make anyone feel like your chum from yore.
Your eyes are filled with a hundred dream…
At ease with studies, part of the top cream! [;)]

A naughty little devil with a cherubic smile
Playing impish pranks all the while!
You must have not met a non-stop talker
Half of my countless words, to you a Yorker!

What do I do then.....sign the bond,
Spoil you with silence and then abscond?
For if my words could never convince thee,
What good would my silence still be?

-Ships

Rejoinder!

2007-02-17T09:12:00.000-08:00

Sometimes, small incidents fill you with such great pleasure... Tonight looking at my mail-box; I experienced the same kinda joy. The new mail waiting was indeed quite an unexpected but welcome surprise… It read, ‘New comment on INTEZAAR.’

It was my friend, a friend who I sought refuge to the most in times of distress… It’s quite funny, how we keep in touch in times of trouble, but in happy times, the ‘touch’ factor just disappears.

There were days when we talked for hours at a stretch, and look at us today… it has almost been a couple of months since we heard from each other… His reply to my earlier post brought back those treasured memories of the good old times… So here you go… his reply in Hindi (which is again quite a feat!)

Baitha hoon aapke intezaar mein...

Leke un dinon ki yaadein...

Woh raat bhar ki baatein...

Woh aansoo-on ko pochne wali muskurahat...

Woh long drives ka promise, woh milne ki betaabi...

Woh andekhe sapne jo sach hue, aap hi ki dua se...

Khata toh humne koi nahi ki...

Magar aaj aap duur chale gaye ho...

Kab laut aayengi woh beete dinon ki khushi...

Kab yeh zindagi hogi fir se puri...

Waqt jaise tham sa gaya hai...

Aankhen ho gayi hai num...

Aur kitna tadpaoge hame...

Kab laut aayenge woh haseen lamhe...

Cheers to you, dear friend… Don’t cease to be the lynchpin of my life! May you fly higher; and like I told you, you are always gonna be high up there… Dare you forget this sweet little fussy friend of yours – the damsel always in distress! ;)

-Ships

INTEZAAR

2007-02-16T07:14:00.000-08:00

A post in Hindi... for a change!

Baithi hu aapke intezaar mein,
Yaad aa rahi hai, wo baatein purani.
Kyu chod gaye the aap hume?
Kyu cheene humse wo pal suhane?

Wo chedna aapka, wo sharmana mera,
Wo pehli baarish ki rim jhim.
Ab toot gaya yeh dil bechaara
Louta deejiye mujhe wo pyaare din.

Maanaa maine ki khata hui thi mujhse
Aur door kar diya aapne hume khudse?
Wo insaan hi kya jisse hoti nahi bhool?
Ek choti si hui mujhse, kiya maine kubool.

Ab to waqt jaise gaya hai thum,
Aapke intezaar mein aakhen ho gayi hai num,
Aur kitna tadpaoge aap hume?
Aakhir kab loutenge wo haseen lamhe?

-Ships

W e d d i n g B e l l s

2007-01-04T11:53:00.000-08:00

“Yes… You heard it right. I am getting married”
I was flabbergasted on hearing these words…

How could you? Why so soon? And why didn’t you tell me before?
Well… readers hold on… The person who’s getting married is one of my best buddies, and the very reason why I sound so shocked is that, she hardly ever believed in relationships till she met him!

You see… love just happens, and for this one, it blossomed on orkut! They happened to meet on orkut and one fine day bumped into each other during a training camp… and the rest is history! It’s so amazing that two people, with totally different upbringing and diametrically opposite points of view mingle along so well. I guess that is what is said about true love. I wish them a happy and fun-filled life ahead.

Well… coming to think of it, we have quite reached a marriageable age (read - nubile). Yet, the feeling hasn’t sunk in… The sight of a sari clad me, changing diapers of a year-old baby sends shivers through my spine! But that precisely would’ve been the case, if I was born a few decades back!

While writing this post, I was simultaneously chatting with another friend of mine (see – girls can multitask!) He asked me, ‘So what’s your idea of an ideal man?’
Prompt was my reply!

Read on!
- Not very fair (I am wheatish, you see;))
- Someone with an extremely sweet smile (A smile can work wonders after all!)
- Ambitious (Need I say more?)
- Someone who loves my parents just like I do (Crucial)
- Doesn’t snore!! (Don’t laugh… this is indeed the most important criteria! Sound sleep is the foundation of a blissful married life :D)
- Is well-off (I'd love to be a homely comely wife;))
- Pampers me like a kid (Should have the capacity to tolerate my tantrums!)
- Scolds me too (Don't concentrate much on this one... scold-kiss-makeup... that's how it is read!)
- Loves life :) (I wish his wife is his life!)
- And most importantly, loves me the most! (I'm all smiles for this one! :D)
That’s all your honour!

Hehe…. seems like a huge wish list! As said, if wishes were horses, beggars would ride! Waiting for the perfeccct ride…

Amen!

-Ships

Rigmaroles...

2006-12-07T03:52:00.000-08:00

Sometimes, we get so caught up with the rigmaroles of mundane life that we seldom notice the simple and beautiful things in life. Do you remember the last time you stopped to gaze at the azure sky, observe little kids playing in the playground, fighting with each other and making up? When was the last time that you actually got rid of your umbrella and drenched yourself in the rain, not caring about catching a cold or soiling your brand new shirt? When was the last time, you walked hand in hand with your beloved in complete silence under the moonlit sky, without any explicit conversation yet heading back home with memoirs of precious unspoken words?

We generally find ourselves complaining about the various intricacies and obligations of life, often forgetting that our Life’s gonna be as busy as we want it to be. More often than not, we find ourselves embroiled in picayune issues forgetting that life’s too short to plan our every move…

So friends, let go of all worries and let your self frwee!* Jot down all the things you have always wanted to do in life. If feasible, do them right away! My list would be a loooonnngg one… but given the paucity of space and time, I’ll list down a few of them

* I wanna see the sun rise!
phew… for that I’ll have to go to bed early and get up early! Already too late now for that…
* I wanna get drenched in the first rains…
phew… have to wait a long time for rains to come
* I wanna hug my best friend…
But the problem is… I don’t have ONE best friend and deciding between who’s the best among the best would be a huge problem!
* I feel like eating an ice cream right away…
But alas have no company!
* Going for a lovely walk underneath the shining stars…
‘lo there I go again… its no fun walking alone ! ;)

See, I told you… only feasible one’s get fulfilled!

I wanna walk with you hand in hand
On the grainy, but cool velvety sand
See the lovely sun rise on the horizon
Amidst the beautiful sky turning crimson…

-Ships

* Here in my circle of friends, we have devised this term FRWEEE…

Usage: Used whenever you give up on things, have fared badly in something, don’t wanna talk about something… or in general wanna make a point!

Life's a jazzy jive!

2006-11-01T10:40:00.000-08:00

There are so many things that I can write about tonight… can’t think about anything concrete though.

Well… dad says, when you can think of anything to say, smile and sing along!
Ditto is with writing… randomize ()

That just reminded me that I am a qualified software engineer… The only other time these days I am reminded of this is when I fill up my resume for applying for summer internships!

Now, that I’ve digressed enough from the topic of what to write, let me just pen down a few random thoughts of a 20 something girl… The characters in the poem are fictitious, and if there’s any resemblance to any person living or dead… it just proves that I’m Oracle!

Hehehe…

RANDOM THOUGHTS

When nights are long, I sometimes ponder
Was I really guilty? I wonder
The surge of emotions were clear as dew
Feelings were strong though words were few.

As the creepy night unfolded, the urge just grew
And last I remember; I wanted to hold you.
I’d be lying if I say it were no lust, no lure
You were the sole reason; I’m very much for sure.

Life is long, paths are diverse
I wouldn’t want to make feelings worse
Honey, I remember, we are friends first
And it’s you and only you whom I trust.

My talks are long, emotions are pure
Sorry, can’t help it there’s just no cure…
What I blurted out in a moment of devilish glory
Would stand out life-long as a hilarious story!

Even after we part and distances do us apart,
When I buy a Merc and you manage a bullock cart
I promise I’d not stop torturing you with my great art
Which I’m sure, certainly makes you more smart!

Yes, life is an open book to me
And your cart’s entry is always toll free
Hope you really make it big in life…
Scale further heights with a jazzy jive!

-Ships

A 'little' incident...

2006-10-18T14:00:00.000-07:00

Hi friends….
I know it’s been an aeon since I last posted…

I had to share this ‘little’ incident that happened last week. I got a call on my hostel room’s landline… and lo’ it was a man’s voice at the other end saying, “Hi darling, what have you been upto?” The voice was of a person, who I love the most on earth… who I cannot live without…

However, my mind refused to believe that it was HIM… There was this prolonged uncomfortable silence… We let a few angels pass by! Finally, my heart battled out and proved victorious against my mind. I found myself saying, “Hi daddy dearest! Wassup at your end?” And the fun-loving person that he is… pat came the reply, “I’m in our living room; and yes I’m LIVING!”

That’s my dad. A man who’s just battled for his life after a massive heart attack… Talk to him for as long as you want to, and you’d never find out that only one-fifth of his heart muscles are presently functional. Well, on second thoughts why would he even need the other four parts working? My mom, my sis, my bro, and me; are his four dearer parts. He says; he can do without his heart, but not without us. How sweet!

Love you, Baba.

To the love of my life…

2006-09-27T07:11:00.000-07:00

Yet again… I want to hold your hands
And play like a kid on the wet sands
Rejoicing, careless and carefree
I wanna relive all those memories…

Today I really wanna see you race…
And come back to me at a breathtaking pace
You can’t even think of quitting so soon
Still gotta spend nights together staring at the moon.

All those pink dresses you gifted me
The running around beneath the litchi tree
Can’t you hear my contagious laugh
at that circus, on seeing the funny dwarf?

You promised to take mom on a world tour
Like you say she’s the best wife, the most demure…
Even she wants you to stay back for some more time…
Who else’ll fight over the remote for the news at nine?

With you I wanna see a new dawn…
Hold on to life dad… Please hold on…

-Ships

God... I love him more than you do

I want him more than you...

Back to Life!

2006-09-19T12:30:00.000-07:00

Its hardly been five odd days… and as the feeling of being back home has just started to sink it, alas it’s time to say good bye again!

Who knows how time flies away… I can still feel my dad’s caressing embrace and see my mom’s sweetest smile when I alighted from the Gujarat Mail on Saturday. My legs are still tapping to the sound of music, and my cheeks are pursing a smile at my ex-colleagues’ silly gestures. The chaotic chimes of the get together with my friends last night are still so vivid and clear…

This reminds me of a few lines from John Howard Payne’s poem;

How sweet 'tis to sit 'neath a fond father's smile,

And the caress of a mother to soothe and beguile!

Let others delight mid new pleasures to roam,

But give me, oh, give me, the pleasures of home.

Home, home, sweet, sweet home!

There's no place like home, oh, there's no place like home!

Phew… inspite of knowing this, the mind wants to roam about in search of new pleasures! What an irony of life!

Well… on second thoughts roaming aint a bad option either… ;)
So much can happen over roaming around… Check out the next few lines I penned…

Courtesy: Two of my friends who are deeply in love… and guess how their love blossomed? By roaming around of course! Read on…

As two strangers roam amidst the empty street
Both in search of an unfrequented retreat
Immersed in gravity of their own worlds…
Their whole life before them unfolds…

From stranger to friends…
From friends to lovers…
And lo’ fret and fuss ends
All cares and concerns it covers.

Now, as two lovers roam, Walking hand in hand

Mesmerized in love, on the velvetty gravelly sand…
The waves roll along as the new lovers kiss,
Totally immersed in one another, soaked in the bliss.

Loving the moment, spending time together,
Entrusting all nuances within each other
Today as the new lovers roam…
They intend to make a new home sweet home!

-Ships.

So you see… roaming aint a bad option at all!
Keep roaming! Fly High!

After all… Tame birds sing…. Wild birds… -> They fly!!
(The last line… Courtesy: Handwritten acciaccatura on a book’s first page by a friend of mine!)

Life played Glissando

2006-08-21T02:40:00.000-07:00

The ever-so-busy Life wasn’t ever simple,
Yet mom brought in glee with her cute dimple.
Life found its way through pains and pleasures,
Galore of memories we still treasure.

The thought of being carefree
The want of a new world…
“Don’t worry about me”
Resounded my words in bold.

Yes… those were the words I uttered
While leaving my palace where I reigned
Lots of anxieties were cluttered
And a confident smile I feigned.

An all-new world… A different life…
A juggernaut advent and an erratic tone…
It has sure been a hectic strife,
None-the-less we many a skills hone.

Mosaics of different cultures we meet
All moving in unison in a single fleet
Some good, some bad, some ugly
Some really sweet and snugly!

Found new horizons, rejuvenated dreams
Here there’s no end to a day it seems
Sun never sets… it just rises…
And brings with it, a lot of surprises.

New-found friends, caring tunes
Caressing environs, romantic Junes.
I can gladly say yet again
“Don’t worry about me”
“The beautiful new world I just see”

-Ships.

A-Live

2006-08-07T13:35:00.000-07:00

I know it’s been long…

But such is life…
There were times when I had all the time (or rather I made it a point to find the time) to pen down my thoughts into words… making sure, nothing’s lost… every flake stayed alive down the memory lane…

But those were the days…

Life here is pretty hectic. (Trust me… that was a milder statement.) Too many things to do, twenty four hours just aren’t enough!

Mid-term exams are done with. How were they? Well… Unmentionable… But amidst all the gloominess, there’s always a silver lining. We came out as winners in the T-nite, which is a four-night long event full of fun and frolic. It was indeed a testing time, which involved rigorous amount of preparation for the talent nights, and equal amount of mugging for the next day’s lectures… But, as said, “All’s well that ends well…” Our section stood the test of time and we are now the proud winners.

Well… it was indeed an eye-opener. Life teaches such tough lessons in such beautiful ways. This experience did teach me to make choices. I never believed in competing with fellow-sections. I've got great friends spread across all the sections. A part of me wished all my friends good luck for their endeavors. However, I’m glad that I did learn to come out of my apprehensions and lend my whole hearted support for my section friends… I viewed the whole exercise not as a competition, but as a platform which would bring us all together. After all, every moment is auspicious when it comes to befriending people.

And T-nite indeed was a huge success. It achieved what it was meant for… viz., rejoicing and making friends.

Cheers to the spirit of friendship!!!

Buddies, accept my best wishes for the years to come. Belated wishes for Friendship Day! (Now please don’t complain about the delayed wishes… You know what kept me busy! And either which way, two days aren’t long enough for apologies! Lolz)

Note: About the title of the post… well thats what we named our section’s newsletter!

-Ships.

Raindrops...

2006-07-09T09:57:00.000-07:00

Raindrops on the vibrant leaves…
Saffron fills the sky…
Many a memory my idle mind weaves
Holding on… Not sure when it’d pass by.

As I listen to the chirping sounds,
Do I even remember the last time when
My joy knew no bounds?

The dragging sound of the mixed chimes,
The ricocheting keyboard strokes…
What happened to the carefree life?
The instant humour and the carefree jokes?

Each day brings with it a new surprise
This kinda life is meant for people wise…
I just need my share of happiness.
I just want to be carefree and careless!

Somewhere there’s a feeling of regret
For turning a new leaf of my life’s booklet
But, all’s not lost, life’s long…
I’ll live life… like a beautiful song.

-Ships.

Fanaa ho jaaye…

2006-06-20T11:48:00.000-07:00

Saw Fanaa today…
Let me clarify… This post is not to applaud or criticize the movie…
Movies are made, seen and forgotten.
What stays evergreen are a few words…
And Fanaa definitely had a lot of those memorable words…
The Shayaris, the lyrics… O boy! I guess, I’m still drunk on them!

Coming to think of it, isn’t it wonderful that sometimes just a couplet says all what an entire book wouldn’t convey…

Baithe hai hotho ko see kar,

Pachtayengi aap,

Ishq jaag uthtaa hai aksar,

Aisi khamosi ke baad…

Silence indeed has to be broken before the hurricane of emotions implode within you.

Humse dur jaaoge kaise,

Dilse hume bhulaoge kaise,

Hum to khushbu hai jo saanson me baste hai,

Khud ki saanson ko rok paonge kaise.

Well… again coming to think of it… these couplets very often sound too cliched… But wat the hell… what matters more is the sentiments attached to these gems.

Well… I could go on and on and on about my liking for nice words and lyrics. But let me not ramble more on it…

Mere haath mein tera haath ho…

Saari jannatein mere saath ho…

Tu jo paas ho phir kya yeh jahaa

Tere pyar mein ho jaaun fanaa…

I guess, such words can come easily to one in real life too, provided there’s a Rehan and a Zoonie (pre-interval types!!) for each one of us. So, happy hunting for your Rehans and Zoonies! And then we could as well sing these lines…

Adhoori saans thi dhadkan adhoori thi adhooren ham
Magar ab chaand poora hain falak pe aur ab pooren hain ham…

Lolz, come back to earth people! You can imagine yourselves with your respective soulmates later… time for me to call it a night… till my next post, Adios!

Bhool karke bhi humse koi bhool hui ho toh,

Bhool samajhkar use bhula dena,

Lekin bhulana sirf Bhool ko,

Galti se bhi Humein na Bhulana…

Forget me not!!

-Ships.

Tonight… I have no words… no phrases…

2006-06-13T10:40:00.000-07:00

I feel so empty, so lonely tonight…

My searching eyes try to find you by my side…

Tonight… I have no words… no phrases…

Still deep within me remain your traces.

How do I forget your caressing smile?

What remains of it now is just a vile…

I wish destiny wasn’t so unkind…

All those lost years I can’t unwind…

The morning dew, the evening star…

Tells me that you were always waiting right there.

There are tears of rueful regret…

Do I really wish we never met?

But the stars’ still shining bright tonight

It just tells me that I just might…

Find a new ray of hope, of love and Joy

And smile through it… the pain it’ll destroy.

Let me sing once more

Like I always did before

I wanna sing a new song, a newer tune

And await for sweetness to fill my life soon.

-Ships

My current phase of existence…

2006-06-04T08:05:00.000-07:00

Hi friends…

Just a week down… and it already seems like ages…
Time to spill the beans…

Today, I am writing this post sitting on this not-so-comfortable chair, yet not quetching about it. Yes, just like you all, I’m equally surprised at myself!! I guess… I had under-estimated myself… I never thought I’d ever be able to do my own laundry or clean the bed myself. But lo’ as I look at my room now… no points for guessing... its spic-and-span…Oh boy! Am I not proud of myself?!! [I wish you could see that huge grin on my face!]

Ok… now here’s the list of all new activities undertaken in the past week:

Shopping: Hold on… not the kind of shopping girls like doing! Rather, I went out shopping for washing detergents and other house-hold stuff! Phew… tat was quite some feat!
Cleaning: Yes, you heard that right! I clean my room myself everyday, irrespective of whether Hansaben is around or not! (Well Hansaben reminds me of another activity which I have indulged into oflate…. Any guesses? Well… call it a bribe or a tip…but it seems to make things easier…)
Attending classes: Now, for someone like me, who’s never been to college on time, this is quite an applaudable feat! However, hold on… don’t jump to conclusions so soon… I did set a record here also by skipping a tutorials class in the evening… reason? Well… I was way to sleepy and lazy at the same time to attend the session… after all after such a hard day’s work a.k.a cleaning my room, I did deserve some sleep!
Praying: Now that was a googly! Yes, I prayed to the rain gods and they seem to have heard my prayers… the heat here in Ahmedabad is simply unbearable… especially because there’s no AC in your room… After so many years of complaining about the weird noises my room’s AC made back home in Mumbai, I now realize it indeed was a boon… leastwise, it cooled up things!

Apart from these newer ones, the other activities that kept me busy were:
Making friends: Well, life is too short a time to befriend the whole world… But what the heck! I’ll keep trying!
Watching movies: You name a recent movie, and I guess I would’ve seen it! Alright… alright… I’ve not seen Fanaa yet… Get rid of that diabolic smile from on your faces! I’m a true optimist… It’ll be released here too... sooner or later. Keeping my fingers crossed.
Celebrating birthdays: Aha… occasions surely enliven your entire self… And it can’t get better when the birthday boy treats all of us at Mochas without even an iota of dissent!

Now for those of you all who were looking for something like ‘Studying’ to be there on that list... I would say… You are expecting too much out of this poor soul! There’s still time for it!

Signing off for the day… It’s a lovely Sunday evening… I dunno what’s in here for dinner tonight… but I sure know mom’s cooking chicken back home… Miss you Ma. :)

- Ships.

Time Please!!!

2006-05-26T12:11:00.000-07:00

Hi friends…

The D-Day has come… Its time to bid adieu to my little kingdom… Tomorrow is indeed a day which would go down to the annals of history… as tomorrow marks the end of the realm of the princess in my home sweet home.

On the eve of my adios to Mumbai for the next couple of years, I felt like sharing this little poem with you all… It is a modified version of a very long anecdote I’d written on the last day of my graduation for my friends.

Read on…

AE PAL ZARAA TEHAR JAA..

Chan palo ke mehmaan hai hum is shehar mein
Ae waqt tu ruk kyu nahi jaata?
Kitni baatein, kitne armaan baaki hai is dil mein
Kya kya kahe kuch samajh nahi aata...

Kab socha tha maine ki aisa bhi din aayegaa
Jab bichadte hue dil choor choor ho jaayega
Yaha bitaaya har ek lamha yaad aayega
Aur mere dil ko aur bhi rulaayega.

Zindagi naam hai aage badhne ka
Toh fir kyu chod jaate hai hum itni yaadein?
Kya hai kasoor mera ya mere doston ka?
Ab kisse kahenge dil ki saari baatein?

Shaayad fir milne ka mauka mile na mile...
Par milne ka waada zaroor karna
Chalte rahenge zindagi ke silsile
Shaadi karna, invite karna….warna!

Kaafi yaadein sametli maine
Ab kehna chahti hu main kuch...
Pyaar hai mujhe tum sabhi se
“I’ll miss u all” sachmuch!

Pata hai ki dil dukhaaya hai tumhara...
Naadan the hum...Kasoor tha hamara
Fir bhi gujaarish hai ki kar dena maaf
As rightly said, “Forget and laugh”……….

---Ships

RENDEZVOUS WITH LIFE...

2006-05-15T06:12:00.000-07:00

Look, how time flies away! In leisure time, when I sit back and reminisce about the upshots in my life, I marvel at the fact that I’ve raned into so many changes. One question leads to another and leaves my head walloping with the same question again… “Should vicissitude in one’s life be embraced without anxiety?”

Not one, nor two… but it has been twenty-two long years since I stepped onto this world where sweet, cunning, rude, helpful… all kinds of people stay in unison, the world where truth and falsehood go hand in hand… (OOOOPs did I just commit the severest sin a girl could ever commit… i.e. didn’t I just blurt out my age!?? Hehe…) Well, it seems as if only a while ago I was inside my mom trying to figure out how the outside world would be like, concentrating on the various unknown sounds outside that excited me. I was pretty anxious to know what was going around.

Days went by… and then came the day when I inscribed my presence on earth, the day when I intervened into the chaos of a whole new world; everything seemed so strange; the world full of unfamiliar faces. I was so panicked that I couldn’t resist crying aloud! It was only when I felt my mom’s gentle touch, something which was so soothing that I finally stopped crying. That was the very first time that my mom hugged me and I bet one wouldn’t find such comfort even on the seventh heaven! Since that very moment, she has been my mentor, she’s the one who has guided me meticulously through thick and thin, and made me what I am today. My dad was the next person on earth, whom I felt so close to, in this whole new world. The very first time I said “Ma”, their joy knew no bound!
They taught me to walk… I learnt to run! (Literally and figuratively ;))
They taught me words… I learnt to speak! (I bet it’s difficult… or should I be veracious enough to say… It’s indeed impossible to find another blabby like me!)
In every action of theirs’, there was a new lesson for me.

The first day in school was as petrifying as the very first day of my very existence! But again I had my powerful shield - my parents who eased all my fears, assuaged my trepidation, and guided my way towards the school gate. I still remember my dad saying, “All the best, Dear! You’re a lovely girl. You ought to love school. You’ll get many new friends whom you’ll be more close to.” And he was so right when he said that! That was the day when friends entered my life. Yes, that was altogether a new phase of my life. A good student emerged out of a mischievous kid!

School, friends, teachers, books…. Oh! That age was so carefree! Teachers guiding you, friends helping you, parents running after you! That of course was the age where fun and fear always went together. Mischief and scolding were common! School years were wonderful! It brought so many changes in me. A naughty little kiddie metamorphosed into a sweet little girlie. Then came the farewell day, when I bid my last adieu to my alma mater. The very thought of leaving my good old friends, and entering a new environment horrified me.

But again, my wildest fears were proven wrong. Junior College was fabulous! It was a different life altogether. With lot of restrictions being lifted, I felt like a free bird! That was the phase which saw me transforming from girl to a well-behaved(?) young lady. It taught to me to treasure friendship and the various bonds of life. With the board exams approaching, we learned to value time. But these two years went by so fast that even before I could completely comprehend what it was like; it was all over!

Then I entered my graduation years. Another set of friends… Friends - whom I’d remember for my entire life time. Even these four years went by just like a blink of an eye…

But life continues… ambitions spring… I entered another phase of my life.
My first job, my first colleagues, another arena of my life, wonderful friends… Nine months of fun and frolic… I know I wouldn’t get such a carefree work environment again. But as is said, yeh dil maange more…

Will leave for my management studies this month end… Waiting to meet another bunch of friends, seniors, teachers, rivals…

So many things have changed in the past years but a few things always remain the same, like my mom’s sweet scolding and my dad’s playfulness!

Every time I’ve entered a new phase of my life, I felt like the new born baby anxious to know more but afraid of the consequences. But isn’t this what life is all about? “CHANGES” - Yes, life and changes go hand in hand, and we ought to welcome them with a smile. Like it’s clichéd, change is the only thing constant in life.

You can’t stay with the past forever, how-so-ever beautiful it may be! One must always look forward and try his/her best to conquer all which is yet to come just as Robert Frost says---

“The woods are lovely, dark and deep;
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep.”

- Ships.

IN WANT OF A BETTER TOMORROW…

2006-05-07T10:47:00.000-07:00

Just had a heated discourse with a friend of mine… (Note: As per my definition, a discourse also includes emotional black-mailing, and anything that's needed to be on the winning end!! hehe...) Wondering what the topic was? Read on…

He: Sorry dear, I can’t make it to the trip this weekend.
Me: O c’mon… You sure can.
He: You know my reasons for not coming right. This exam is an important one. It can make or break my future.
Me: So, you think, sacrificing such an eventful day will help you? Do you want to regret later that you could’ve fared equally well, even if you had gone for that outing?
He: No... It ain’t that way! I don’t wanna regret later that… Wish I had put in a little more effort and fared better…

And the conversation went on and on…. Till of course, my bro screamed… “Dids, dinner is ready… Tandoori chicken waiting for you!” (You see, I had to mention that! I can’t tell you in words the extent of my excitement at the delicious comeback of my dearie Chicken in my Kitchen... Phew... now that's a live example of mindless repetition.)

Well, coming back to the conversation… Putting it in a nutshell, it was about prioritizing things in life according to their importance…

Like most other things in life, here again, there are two schools of thought. One school of thought avers, plan your today, in want of a better tomorrow. The second says; live life day after day, each day, without worrying what’s in store for you tomorrow. Approach one is more like a "Get-Set-Go" attitude (Pre-plan, plan and execute... Phew... Don't pull your hair out! It is an engineer talking to you after all!)…. And approach two is simply a "Just Do It" type (Do I even need to explicate on this one!)… It’s solely upto us if we want to outflank the present for a riper tomorrow, or make the present as our life’s finest present.

As an embryo, you’ve seen your mom taking all possible precautions, to ensure you a red-carpet welcome into this wondrous world. As a kid, you’ve seen your parents saving their precious pounds and pennies to ascertain your future repleted with flamboyant colors. As a student, you’ve seen your friends and rivals burning midnight oil to stand out and be the cynosure for the next day. In work-life, you have learnt it from your co-workers to be acquainted with every possible stuff today for an undaunted prosperity in every walk of life hereafter… In other words, all vouch for a better tomorrow at the expense of travailing through their otherwise-could-be-idyllic present. You are so used to seeing people following the first school of thought, that even in your subconscious mind, you plan for your chatoyant tomorrow!

However, just like the crazy nut that I am, I love to differ and find myself going by the second school of thought. I understand that a well-set ‘plan’ is the basic building block for any successful endeavour... still I prefer most of the things in my life to be unplanned. I believe that if something has to happen it will happen. Good or Bad… But it’ll definitely happen.

As is said, if you stop and ask someone for directions, and they tell you "You can't miss it"... then be assured that you will!!! So, friends whenever in doubt or dilemma, don’t depend on what you have seen people around you doing since times immerorial… rather, just listen to what your heart says…

Life is too short a time to live...
Why bother in the intricacies?
Don’t ask for more, just give...
Your present all your fancies.

Couldn't think of any better lines at this hour! Will have to catch up with some lost sleep, so that I reach work on time tomorrow. OOPS... did I just plan for tomorrow?? $^&()%#^$

Any ways, cheers to our 'present'.
:D

-Ships

What is Mobile No.??

2006-04-29T00:14:00.000-07:00

Time and Date: 10.10 pm IST on Friday, 28th of April, 2006
Location: Bandra, Mumbai

I was on my way back home and …

Lolz!! Look at you!! Are you expecting a suspense thriller ahead?… Don’t have such high hopes!! Read on…

“What is this life full of care ?
We have no time to stand and stare.”
-W.H. Davies.

How aptly said indeed! Don’t forget, this was said when the scientific wonder viz., “Mobile Phones” did not exist. But if he lived today, I bet, he would have definitely reframed his lines as,

“What is this life full of care?
What we do is, only stand and stare!”

SURPRISED!! Still wondering as to what I am trying to hint at?
Let me explain……..

Yesterday, on my way back home, I saw this lady in the train, who completely ignored her colleague and kept talking to someone on the other end of her cell phone. This reminded me of yet another incident. Few months back, I went to meet a long lost friend of mine. A walk in a nearby park seemed to be the perfect way to relive our past memories. It was a breezy day. We had just started off with our talks, when all of a sudden…… the ‘monster mobile’ rang, interrupting our confabulation. A while ago we were two friends sharing our past experiences amidst such beautiful environs, and the next moment I was straight away out of the conversation. I probably ‘appeared almost invisible’ to my very dear friend. There I was STANDING & STARING! Hehe…

The thing that amazed me all the more then was that I wasn’t the only one suffering from such cellular atrocities! In that park I could see many others glued to their cell phones who walked past by us with just a blank stare, not even bothering to smile or at least say a gentle ‘hello’. Isn’t it funny that the very thing which ought to enrich communication is instead hampering it?

Friendship of consequences has become a thing of the past. (I’m contradicting one of my previous articles… But didn’t I mention before… that I’m a confused soul since birth!!) All we do these days is ‘stare’, unable to strike a friendly conversation with acquaintances because of an electronic gadget which is supposed to make communication easier! In fact, mobile mania has struck so hard that nowadays every Tom, Dick and Harry has one! As a matter of fact, even while traveling by trains you are not permitted to enter into a friendly chat with the person sitting next to you for he is ‘busy’ messaging unnecessarily or perhaps trying to get back his childhood by playing some dumb games on his cell phone! There again all you can do is …….STARE!

Emerson said,

“By trying to understand through
the medium of science, Nature;
as God has made it, we will
be creating miracles of our own!”

Yes, definitely ‘Mobile Communication’ is one such miracle we have always looked forward to; which brings you closer to the absent. But now it makes the people sitting just next to you feel absent!

By now you must be thinking that I am a sheer Luddite! But NO. I too own a cell phone!
I too cling on to it sometimes (or mebbe most of the times) and make my friends feel miserable (non-intentional you see!) I too appreciate the genuine purpose of mobiles but the unintended consequences surely make me cringe! It’s high time that we put up some techno-restrictions i.e. we have to observe some ‘Decent Mobile Mannerisms’, say;
--> No messaging unnecessarily, especially when you can turn over and say ‘Hi’ to someone.
--> Not to sideline friends for receiving calls unless really important.

I’ll be happier if you can add a few more to this list. (Hey all you friends out there… Don’t look at me like that… I promise I’ll try my best to follow them myself too!) All I’m trying to say is that, it’s no use showing off or being a techno-wiz; for it’s widening the gap between people.

I understand it’s a MOBILE AGE. Why should we be an exception? So, go mobile!
But, how?

All we need to do is, increase mobility in relationships, friendships and don’t give in to falsity. I bet there’s no other easier way to lead a happier life!!

Just as John Bunyan says—
“Here little and hereafter bliss
is best from age to age.”

- Ships

Dancing Damsels

2006-04-21T13:00:00.000-07:00

Well… It’s time again for penning down something… It wasn’t like; there was nothing to write about last week… rather there were too many things to write about… My haircut that went haywire… My calls that finally got converted… My purse that was happily stolen… My sleeping hours that were drastically cut short… My meal that was finally returning to normal! Lolz… However, barring the ‘my’ life happenings, one substantial thing that happened which had large stakeholders was… the re-opening of all dance bars!! The adjoining caricature is drawn by one of my good friends and was published in Loksatta last week… It is significant not just because it is done by one of my buddies… It is so because; I’m always awed by the fact that, how a tint of humour in social satire can be the most visible and widely disseminative form of general awareness.

Last Sunday I was watching The Big fight on NDTV, wherein prominent personalities were debating on the pros and cons of this decision about unbolting the doors of the dance bars here. What caught my attention was how easily people get away with lame reasons… One of the gentle men out there even went up to suggesting that, men go to these dance bars, because their wives can’t entertain them… So, it is indeed the onus upon the ladies at home, to don garish ghagras, put up gaudy make-up and entertain their Gods! It couldn’t get more ridiculous than this!! (I could barely imagine myself doing that!! Holy crap!)

First of all, I don’t understand why in the first place is there such a hue and cry over this issue? In a country like ours, we’ve got many problems to take care of… The amount of money spent on such endless debates could be better utilized for other purposes. Dance bars are no new things… Our rich culture exhibits the existence of mujra-mahals and rangashaalas since time immemorial. So, all of a sudden pointing fingers at people doesn’t make sense. Just as you see in the cartoon, alcohol has become the man’s lame-stick… he’s not even bothered about his growing handicap… All he can see is the entry to Heaven’s door viz, the Dance Bar! Men, who though aren’t physically blind, but have mental blocks, would get drawn to such falsity. So, it’s basically all up to the person to realize what is good or bad for him. Let him decide for himself. Let’s not play agony uncles and aunts. After all, we have much better things to do!!

-Ships.

UNVOICED

2006-04-14T22:50:00.000-07:00

My dizzy eyes twinkle; my lips purse a smile,
As you just entered my thoughts for a while…

Dulcet memories flash back as I think of you
Our meeting, our friendship.... all seem so true
How I thought I knew myself for sure
Until sometime back our friendship was pure.

Years of holding together
What happened to the way it used to be?
I never inferred your place in my life
I held on long pretending not to see.

Existence faded into unversed confession
Day metamorphosed into night
It might’ve been my life’s toughest lesson
Good ol’ memories disappear from sight.

I reminisce how it used to be
When we shared our fears and delight
You are a treasured friend to me
Wish I could make things right…

-Ships

Commemorating 50 days of Bird-Flu!!

2006-04-10T22:04:00.000-07:00

February 19, 2006: A day which every ardent non-vegetarian food bhakt would want to forget.
Today is April 11, 2006: So, that marks the successful completion of 50 days of the atrocious Bird Flu hoo-hah!! Yippee… Golden Jubilee!!

Its horrendous repercussion is still live and running across every house-hold in Maharashtra. Ladies and gentleman, let us hear a loud round of applause for the great warrior viz. BirdFlu, which has made its existence felt all across the nation in such short span of time, and impoverished thousands of poor souls like me of their biggest charm and only appeal in food-life viz. The saporous Chicken!
[Caution for all those who are trying to count the actual number of days: Please don’t count the exact number of days now… This post is written by an engineer… So, you should know that I had Mathematics only for the first five semesters, which was almost eons ago… So, you see a little deviation from the actual value is a forgivable offence! ;) ]

Ever since this hue and cry over bird-flu started, I felt deprived of the all pleasances of this entire world. From being a person for whom feasting out meant a whole list of chicken specialties, to being a stringent orderer of vegetarian food (which also included checking out if the restaurant was a 'pure-veg' one…) Phew… the metamorphosis a.k.a transition was incredible!!

For once, I actually considered doing my MS in the US of A, and gave it serious thoughts… leastways; I could devour my delicious chicken delicacies out there without fearing mom! But shelling out a humungous 10+ lakhs as tuition fees, for ambrosia, didn’t seem a sound option! (Aaakhir Yeh Dil Hain Hindustaani… we should pay due respect to our miserly mentalities!! Save money!! Find out easier and cheaper ways!!) Since, there’s no way that you can convince your mom about how immune you are to the H5N1 virus, one easy way includes, frolicking out with friends and gobbling down the much-longed-for-chicken-n-egg-finenesses, and later act like a innocent lady and claim you had mutter paneer, and dal tadka with friends… and to add some glamour, talk about the veg-crispy you ordered as the starter and how delicious it was… ;)

Ahem… Ahem…I marked my end to this hiatus from my dearie spelt 'my dear chicken' yesterday, courtesy Chicken Mc.Grill at McDonald’s… For all those chicken-hearted people (defined: chicken lovers but mom fearers!) like me, this whole bird-flu saga was indeed the most grueling experience of a lifetime… The sight of Chicken Mc.Grill at McDonald’s, the boundless insistence of my buddy, and the humane tendency of giving in, combined together, finally marked an end to this hiatus. Hurrah!

I have all the guts to write about it in this post as I’m confident that my mom won’t be reading my blog at least for the next few years… and even if she manages to do so, the news would have become stale and moldering by then!!

So friends, time for the moral of the story: Always listen to your mom, and... follow your heart! ;)

-Ships.

My Little Bundle of Joy

2006-04-07T02:47:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, when I returned home, she kind of quetched… “Dids, you can write even about your college registrar in your blog… when will you write something about me?” Well… The very fact that she caught up with my recent posts proves that she’s finally finished with her end-terms and has all the time on earth to peak into my musings… Glee… So, this is for my dearest cutie-pie… Read on.

Sixteen years ago, a little bundle of joy entered my life… Yes, I’m talking about this sweet little gift that God gave me on a dry night in the hottest month of April. After a gruelling wait of seven long years, he bestowed happiness into our lives. I was finally one of the privileged lot – I too had a sibling! But wait a minute… was I happy then?? Not really…

Amazed? Let me explain why!

I was the only regnant devil of my house for seven longs years… When I saw my mommy’s tummy growing bigger with every passing day, I had asked my dad… (Caution: The excerpt below is retooled from the conversation we had almost sixteen point five years back… It might be tainted at places…)

Me: “What is mom suffering from?”
Dad: “She’s not suffering; she’s making room for your most coveted gift. It’s your sibling growing in her…”
Me: “But I don’t need one… I won’t share my room… Not even my toys...” (And made faces)

Dad: “If it’s a baby boy, you can tie him Rakhi and he’ll give you lotsa gifts. If it’s a baby girl, she’ll help you out with your Barbie house…”
…

Well… I gave it a thought, the idea of getting lotsa gifts from a bro seemed convincing enough. But I already hated to see my mom all ballooned up for the debutante devil. All set, and done… It was the D-day. (Info: My mom was highly diabetic then, and her pregnancy had always been at her own risk.) I preferred to stay in the confines of our brand new Maruti-800 with our driver bhaiyya RajTilak…(for all you Accord and Accent owners, I’d asseverate… it was then the most luxurious car!!) As I listened to “Hawa hawa e-hawa khusboo udaa de…” , my dad came screaming downstairs. I waited to hear from him about the rakhi-return-gifter I was waiting for, but instead he rushed straight into the OT with me, and told me to wake my mom up… (She was unconscious… and I thought she was sleeping!). Not understanding the gravity of the situation, I told her to wake up immediately, as I was bored of listening to the same cassette ‘n’ number of times. She finally opened her eyes.

Now, let me throw some light on the whereabouts of the tardiest entrant. It seems, the new-born was born with a great do-not-disturb attitude. And to my sheer disappointment it was a baby-sis. She didn’t bother to cry when she took her first breath in this whole new world. I guess she found it too middle-class to cry and announce her grand entry. Rather, she preferred it the other way round. She wanted to be the cynosure of all attention! With doctors and nurses running helter-skelter to ensure she’s fine and kicking, she finally succumbed and did away with her ego and… squealed! The nurse brought her near my mom’s bed… Everyone was overwhelmed… except ME..

Reasons:
-> My entire castle of ideas of asking for exotic gifts from a bro had just shattered.
-> Mom was put to another week of bed-rest which meant I needed to behave like a grown-up girl for a few more days… Phew.
-> She was fairer than me :( and to top it all she was Fat. Well, she was a healthy ten point five pounds record-holder baby of the nursing home till date. It’s another story that you won’t believe even a bit of this if you see her now! She’s grown up to be one of those slim-n-trim college rose-queen damsels ;)

Well… These were just few of the reasons. There were many more in the list of a seven-year old pampered little girl a.k.a. me. Hundreds of guests visiting our place, and gifting the new-born with thousands of gifts. And as if this wasn’t all… they’d say she’s so fair and good-looking. I was fuming with jealousy!! (It’s a girlie trait after all.. be it a seven-year old kid-girl or a seventy-year old hag… women can’t stand comparisons!). In fact, I don’t remember much, but mom says, I once sat on top of that month-old tiny tot out of anger. Also, I tortured my daddy with thousands of cockamamie questions asking him for clarifications as to why did he get those 10 dresses for her and only 1 for me (of course, as a kid only the count mattered!) This entire hullabaloo, mebbe, since I’m born on human-right’s day, demonstrating for my rights is an inborn trait!

Well… All said and done... Today, as we girls watch F.R.I.E.N.D.S. together in the cozy comfort of my room, I look back at those times and feel, I was so foolish! My sweet little damoiselle never complained. It was from her that I learnt to be patient, savvy and compassionate. Because of her, I learnt the joy of sharing, the happiness of having someone to count upon. I love every time she calls me ‘Dids’ (pronounced 'DEEDS'). The sense of belonging, the respect, the love, the care, that she’s chipped in from her end has indeed made my life all the more enjoyable.

Love U Baby.

-Ships.

FROM EXECRABLE TO LAUDABLE...

2006-04-04T23:30:00.000-07:00

Abominable, execrable, egregious, reprehensible, obstinate, obdurate, testy, techy, yokelish … the lists goes on… These were few of the words from GRE Word List that we managed to rote, thanks to the gibing qualities that our redoubtable registrar possessed! (Point to note: He was officially the registrar much later than he actually thought he was…) Every damn attestation and all multitudinous signatures on the worthless forms needed HIS signature. (Note again: We address the Almighty Lord with a capital ‘H’… Note my all Capitals for our great registrar… Hold on… It isn’t out of respect! It just signifies the amount of frustration, built up over the years against HIM!)

Well… just to give you a picture of HIS… He was a 50+ man with grayish-white hair, on the verge of being completely bald, donned a formal (?) shirt which was never tucked in, and always moved with a bunch of papers to-and fro from his cabin to the principal’s room… Students queued up in front of HIS cabin, and the kind of devilish smile which HE gave, every time HE entered HIS cabin, sure won HIM a lot of subdued swearings … All of us wanted HIM to sit on HIS chair and start off with HIS invaluable (to be precise… ‘worthless’) autographs on our forms. Well, but the wait was never so short… How would HIS ego get satisfied if HE didn’t keep poor students waiting for long hours? Oh... how HE loved throwing papers on students’ faces whenever he got irritated. How much HE enjoyed putting poor students on a grueling wait… a wait which started with a couple of hours, and extended well beyond days and months! And what were we waiting for? A little signature which looked like ants having a feast!

In the course of so many years, you would hardly ever find a student who hadn’t faced the atrocities of facing the registrar! I still remember my first day in college, when I had to get some formalities done, which included attestation… I was new to the system. HE was not officially the registrar then. Not knowing how things worked in my new college, I headed directly to the actual registrar’s office, who wasn’t there at his desk. Later someone told me that in order to get things done, you had to go to HIM… and there I was waiting outside HIS cabin. And guess how HE welcomed me? … with a cold stare, as if I’d caused great disrespect to him by approaching the registrar prior to approaching HIM!

That day marked the beginning of my laborious journey for the next four years in college. I feared every attestation and every form which needed HIS signature! Well… The same was the case with most of my friends. One never knew when HE would be out of HIS mind, and might just shower you with some egregious curt words. In a year or two, HE was promoted to HIS most coveted post of the Registrar… and our already sunk faces sank all the more! Well, with the passage of time, we learnt to keep a straight face and endured the agonizing torture, as there was no way out.

I completed my graduation, and started my new lease of life, where I didn’t have to encounter HIM every now and then. But lo’ here again after about half a year, I learnt that I needed my rank certificates from college. I had to gather courage to face the torture yet again… As is the case with any office, your work never gets done on time. So I had to get the certificates verified first. That would take two days. And after that was done, started the long wait to get the most sought-after autograph.

Last Friday, I left my office at 11 a.m. for fetching HIS sign, saying I would be back in an hour or so. Wasn’t I being too optimistic! Well, all set, I reached the college office, and then began the harrowing wait one more time! HE looked at me. And this time, very courteously said, ‘Madam, would you mind waiting in for some time… I’ve got to finish of with some important work.’ Well… As if I had any choice, I smiled back and waited in HIS cabin. As I waited for HIM, memories flashed by. How HE insulted the students, HIS damned attitude. Everything… Well… HE entered the cabin momentarily. I was relieved, that my worked would get done any moment now… but lady luck never favoured me in this case! Three people from the staff entered the cabin with flowers and best wishes cards and from their conversation I realised, it was his last working day!!! Phew… wasn’t I happy?

Well… NO… I don’t know. I was suddenly sad that a hard working person like him was bidding adieu to his workplace of thirty-three long years. Oh how he must be feeling? Now, again as I waited I went back to the days when he made us wait long hours. Suddenly I realised, it wasn’t any fault of his. (Look at how I have stopped using all capitals for him… after all he too is a human…) He worked day in and out. He had never taken a casual leave in the past thirty three years of his work life. (Is that realistic?) Well… he’s proved that it is indeed possible. Then I saw him talking and comforting a girl who hadn’t filled up her KT exam form and it was the last day.(this time around he looked like an angel to my eyes… amazing na!). He was running helter-skelter writing required letters and doing all formalities to ensure that she doesn’t loose her semester. That’s when I realised that he didn’t make us wait for nothing over the past few years. And about the irritated and frustrated look that he carried on his face always, I’d say it's humane… Toil, travail and trudge throughout, and get paid nuts. What else do you expect out of that man?

Well… He got back into his cabin and this time, signed all my eight rank certificates. Yes, and this time I did not mind waiting for my turn. Today, he appeared like a father figure, a gentleman, and a real hardworking man… an epitome of perseverance. And for once I thanked him from the bottom of my heart and wished him all the luck for whatever he does in his future years. I was about to leave his cabin, when I turned back and asked him, “Sir, could I click a photo of yours?” (Well… yet again a modern day gadget proved useful in seizing a lifetime moment…) He obliged and smiled for the photograph. And that was smile of a Satisfied man, a smile which is so rare, so precious.

This reminds me of these lines from The Village Blacksmith.

“His brow is wet with honest sweat,

He earns whate'er he can,

And looks the whole world in the face,

For he owes not any man..”

-Ships

WANNA BE FRIENDS? Why think? Just go ahead!

2006-03-30T02:56:00.000-08:00

I still find each day too short for all the thoughts I want to think, all the walks I want to take, all the books I want to read, and all the friends I want to see.
- John Burroughs

How aptly said!
Life is indeed too short a period to wait for good things to happen by themselves… The onus is upon us to find the time, and relish the sweetness of the flavour called life. And when it comes to making friends, I follow Francesco Guicciardini’s belief. He says, “Since there is nothing so well worth having as friends, never lose a chance to make them…”

I remember, as a kid, I had this Brobdingnagian aim to ‘befriend the whole world’. Nevertheless, in the course of time, I’ve humbled myself from this extremely pollyannaish goal, and settled for befriending a part of it!

Its quite strange, how longtime friendships can break off and go haywire in seconds. At the same time, friendship of consequences might just stay intact for an entire lifetime.

Ever since I graduated (as in completed my grad course), my optimistic intention mentioned above was lost in oblivion. All my close buddies, moseyed through their individual ways of life, and scattered for varied reasons. Work replaced friends. Life was different. Not that it wasn’t fun. Colleagues were fun-loving individuals. But that was that! The fun about making new friends was missing. The challenge of befriending someone was amiss.

And lo’ here again, the cell phone worked wonders! Yet again, life proved how friendship of acquaintances can add the required glitter to your life. Just a few conversations over the phone with someone… and here I am, confident enough (?) to say, that in the process I made another friend (?) ! (Well just a note – The question marks here throw light on the fact that, girls will remain so! Ever-indecisive!! Never quite sure of anything!!)

Interesting, isn’t it! While we girls take ages to decide over the right shade of nail-paint to apply, it takes just some candid talks to make a friend! Well, the candid talks are in favour of friendship, only if it includes a wholesome mix of humour and wit! (And of course, be a patient listener, praise her… and that is it!) However, if the girl happens to be me, you just need to possess a bit more than these few things mentioned! Would have mentioned a few more necessary characteristics, but then I realised, that the list would’ve been never ending! Haha… Kidding!

Friendship is definitely precious not only in the darker shades of life, but even during the time, when the sun shines bright. To ensure that this luminance of an endearing sunshine remains for ever, we need friends to stay on throughout our lives. Well, rejuvenating friendship with long lost friends is another sweet challenge and a different story altogether. As Henry Longfellow says, Ah, how good it feels! The hand of an old friend.

Well, all said and done, be it old or new, more or few, friends are an integral part of our lives. Never compromise on your friends!! And of course, as I’d mentioned it in one of my prior posts, which emphasises on the fact that Friendship acts as a rainbow between two hearts. Pun intended!! ;)

So when it comes to befriending someone, never waffle... Make as many friends as you can!

Well, yet again I assay my aught…

Friend, you are the glitter of the ocean’s waves,
You are the twinkling dew on the swaying leaves,
You are the summer’s sun, the winter frost,
Without you, without me, a lifetime is lost…

-Ships.

Daddy’s Little Girl

2006-03-21T09:25:00.000-08:00

Yesterday night, I happened to catch up with a very dear but long-lost friend of mine… All thanks to the ‘net’ which is a boon for people like us… (I will someday definitely write something about these technological miracles, we have always looked forward to; which brings us closer to the absent)…

Well, let me cut the crap and come straight to the point. We girls talked about our new lives, colleagues, etc. She continued the conversation with intermittent smiles, completely overshadowing the pain that she was soaked into… The pain of trammeled passions, gravelly life, maladies of existing as a girl… This poem, I write for this sweet darling friend of mine… It talks for her thoughts… It says it all…

Daddy’s Little Girl

Am I not your little girl daddy?
Why have I got to marry so soon?
I keep saying I'm still not ready,
Still you keep finding me a groom...

I have lots to do in my life yet,
I want to be a free bird for now…
Many un-trodden avenues to tread,
Before I become someone's cow...

Why should I not climb the ladder daddy?
Can't I scale farther heights?
Should I stop dreaming already,
And make way for conjoined fights?

I'm barely a twenty-two,
I so very much want to do my MBA…
Want to fulfill my dreams few,
And not entertain strangers with a tea-tray.

Please listen to my inner soul...
The girl inside me is crying.
It’s insane to choose life partners by poll,
To convince you, I'm desperately trying...

Look a little deeper into me,
You will find your baby girl there.
Open your cajoling eyes and see,
I can no longer bear the to-be-groom's stare.

My love for you is immensely deep,
The depth of which you'll never know…
But for now let me climb the mountains steep
And learn enough to stand on my toe.

The windy mountains are calling for me,
The thorny terrains I want to explore,
Let me try and make my own destiny...
Till I find windfalls galore.

Cheer up babes!! You’ll definitely reach the pinnacle of success… Keep smiling. :)

- Ships

The Drive with Friends …

2006-03-15T06:22:00.000-08:00

Today was ‘Holi’, the day full of colours,the day filled with fun… But something within me felt hollow… There was something missing… Or was it everything missing? I missed you all buddies… Hoping to see you all soon.

This poem is dedicated to all those wonderful (or otherwise!) drives we went for. Read on…

The Drive with Friends …

As I look out of my window,
I see my big-small-car parked there,
My little scooter, now almost a widow
Waiting for long, with a blank stare.

Those fantastic memories come back running
When I took either of them to college with me…
Choice depending on which trip we were planning,
The drive with friends, air filled with glee.

Beach side fun in a galore
Needed just my car, my friends and me…
For a drop to the nearby station
My scootie sufficed for almost three…

Oh how the comps were picked in shifts,
From hostel rooms far away, for the games,
And how we flocked for buying gifts,
Breaking signals, paying fines...
I remember how we crossed the lanes!

When I reminisce more, I remember
My first car, stuck deep into the mud,
How my sweet angels pushed it harder,
Until it bounced back like a stud!

Bravely lending my car to a novice
All hoping it not to get a scar…
For all other times, waiting for the driver nice,
My chauffer-best friend to drive us far!

The dozen of us stuffed into my car…
The hilarious jokes we thundered…
The amazing messed up direction-lender…
All those different paths we wandered…

Oh those stupid jokes, my insane friends…
Thinking of them, I roll out laughing on my floor…
But again, when I get up and look out of my window
I realize those days are gone, and I miss them all the more…

- Ships.

Looking for Bliss??

2006-03-12T07:14:00.000-08:00

A few days back, I was having this discussion with a very good friend of mine, about what is the real meaning of a ‘proposal’?

Is it just asking out a guy or a gal… as in be my boyfriend/girlfriend? How puerile does that sound!! (sounds like Alisha Chinoy saying ‘I just wanna be your lover gal’…coming right out of ‘Made in India’)... Hehe…

Well… technically speaking, those college-day asking out for dates and hanging around is not what proposal is all about… It’s an offer of marriage, a life time commitment. Oh My God! Did I say marriage?? Isn’t it a taboo to say that word aloud? How on earth can you live with the same person throughout your life? Hold on… It’s quite more than that… It’s about giving a new dimension to your life… Well, am I sounding like I’ve married ‘n’ times?!! Just to clarify your doubts, I’m still single (smile)… I’m just writing what I believe a marriage should be like. Here it goes…

Marriage is an institution wherein, you start afresh, looking forward to a cherubic experience. Marriage is where, your search for that 'right person' stops and hunt for his/her 'wrong side' starts!

Choosing your marriage partner is certainly the biggest gamble one can ever play! For those of you who want to play safe, letting your parents play Cupid and find your soul mate is a sound option. However, knowing your partner after marriage is a bit venturesome, as you get to discover your spouse's veiled behavior on every coming day. Each day turns out to be a store house of miraculous discoveries of some stranger facts about your spouse. Your life partner sure turns out to be a lifetime enigma! Adventure seekers, please go ahead!!

For mere mortals like us, knowing your partner before marriage is anytime a better option. Especially, a good friend can make a very good spouse. Your life partner has to be someone who understands you more than yourself, on whom you can rely blindfolded, someone who'll stick on to you through all thick and thin.... and who else can possess all these qualities? Only your truest friend can.

Love just happens and fades away... but friendship stays on. One would love to find a friend in one's spouse so that even if someday, love vanishes, their friendship would not let them apart. Even if the marriage fails, one would at least have a friend to turn back to in his or her treasure.

Know your partner’s pros and cons before marriage itself so that the rest of your life isn't a horrendous journey with some stranger, but a mirthful experience with a companion. As said, "Love at first sight is easy to understand; it's when two people have been looking at each other for a lifetime that it becomes a miracle." So guys and gals, what are you waiting for? Find your soul mate today… Let miracles happen!! (Open Request to all... Now, that I’ve clarified your doubts about what a proposal means and what marriage consists of, as a gesture for thanking me, find someone for me too!)

Happy Hunting… Ready, Steady… GO!

PRETTY WOMAN OR PETTY WOMAN??

2006-03-08T20:50:00.000-08:00

Hi everybody… Yesterday was Women’s Day… (Does that also mean that the other 364 days of the year are for Men??!!) People wished me, Happy Women’s Day, and I wondered whether I was really happy?

Well… I pondered on it… There is nothing specific that I can complain about. However, looking at the more encompassing point of view, the very concept of this world being a woman’s world is just a whim… a fictitious rosy picture painted to appease the womankind.

Think of this…

Our society preaches morality, sings praises of its womenfolk, but it is actually hollow within. When questioned about giving women her rights, the society keeps mum. She is treated as a commodity. She is a mother, sister, wife… but not an individual. A son is always preferred to a daughter. Why? Only because he’ll fetch you a wholesome dowry or he’ll carry forward your generation, or because he will light the pyre… What a marvelous achievement indeed!

The creator of this Universe has truly empowered her with the power to recreate, yet she’s considered only secondary to men. A woman is still a seller in a buyer's market when it comes to marriage. An independent woman is often termed as an adulteress. Men still call the shots. How disgusting is that!!

Sickening indeed… but coming to think of it, what is this ‘society’ we are talking about? And, who exactly is responsible for their sorry state of affairs? Women themselves! Well… I had a healthy discussion with a friend of mine regarding this… and we came to the consensus that as long as a woman is born and raised to feel handicapped and less capable because she is a woman, as long as she is vulnerable to society because it does not respect her womanhood the equation is unlikely to change.

The day a woman can live on her own terms without fear, and stop considering her womanhood as a sign of weakness, she will see the balance improve in her favor… True freedom is what she is looking for…

This poem I write for this great masterpiece of the Almighty - WOMAN.

HEY WOMAN – CHEERS TO THEE!

Her breast is filled with life to suckle
Gives her baby sustenance to grow
She is to protect, to nurture, to impel,
And seeds of excellence to sow.

Toughest when she endures
Softest when she caresses
Frailest when she defends
Loudest she can fight
She’s the one who can fill
Every heart with delight.

Ever-changing as the ocean's tide
Are the varied moods of a Woman…
She’s undoubtedly her man’s pride
She can turn a hell into heaven.

Soothing her fallen comrades
In the weakest hours of sorrow
Standing at the side of her beloved
Even if there's no tomorrow…

Kindness, charity, love and care
Ribbons of her honor galore
Soft, tender, gentle and fair
She's the stirring of amore.

Her tender caress can make a pauper think
That he is no less than a king.
Woman is fleeting, just like an eye-blink
Either hold on to her or see her leaving.

She is Mystery… She is Enigma
Only understood by her creator
Life always leaves her in a dilemma
Be it order or chaos – that’s her!

All you women out there…wake up… We are a force to reckon with. Cheers!!!

ROSE ON GRAVE

2006-03-01T00:43:00.000-08:00

Yesterday evening, as I was going back home from office, I planned to stop by Kiah’s showroom at Bandra, to glance through the diamond rings… Something on the way really touched my soul and made me stop and think… So this post is dedicated to that little girl… I’ll call her ‘Rose’.

Its almost dusk… The sky is embellished with streaks of red. More beauty one can’t find. My dear friend Jyoti offers to accompany me to the showroom… and who would not like to be accompanied! After all, it's so boring to go window shopping all alone!! Bandra is her domain. We fix an auto to go there. On the way, there’s a crossroad… four roads meet each other there… and but obvious, there’s a signal too… And just as it always is the case with me, all signals are always waiting for me… They welcome me with love… Simply speaking, they turn red!

Two girls… can’t remain quiet even for a second! But somewhere amidst our incessant talks, we hear an innocent voice saying, “Sis, please take these roses… only for twenty bucks”… Now that’s ‘Rose’. She’s a cute, little girl with a cherubic glow on her face. She minus her rags plus some riches would’ve definitely made her win those little Miss Mumbai contests. I looked into her twinkling eyes… filled to the brim with hope… Standing there with a bunch of roses, white, yellow and pink, which she must’ve picked up from somewhere, highly hopeful of earning those twenty bucks… My thoughts wandered into oblivion. Jyo in the meanwhile, bought those flowers. Though the flowers were not fresh, but she was glad that she brought a smile to that little girl’s face.

Well, after the window-shopping spree, Jyo gave the bunch of beautiful flowers to me to carry back home… as her mom wasn’t so fond of fresh flowers. That’s another school of thought that says… why decorate your house with something which won’t last forever?
Alright… I thanked her for the roses, wished her goodnight and took an auto to go back to the station. On my way back home, I kept looking at the roses… And my mind was filled with a thousand thoughts…

This world is really so unfair… On one hand, there are people like us, who have most of the luxuries in life. The fact that you are reading my post says, you have an access to a luxury – your computer! On the contrary, there are people like Rose, deprived of the basic necessities of life, who live hand-in-mouth, steal flowers from graveyards to earn a living… Well, I don’t justify jyo’s act of buying the flowers… because, in a way it encourages malpractices. I never believed in giving alms to beggars also, as they’ll otherwise never learn to earn for a living and become dependent on others for ever. However, still I some how cannot convince myself if I am right or wrong. We waste food… they beg for it. We waste water… they don’t have clean water to drink… We sleep on curl-on and yet complain that it is not soft enough… they sleep on footpaths without bed sheets and cushioned pillows. What an irony life is!

We are more concerned about big things like Arcelor takeover, Jet’s Sahara takeover… But we forget to look at the other picture where poverty has taken over a vast majority of our people. With our mad rush for money, and sick hurry for fame, world has almost become an insanity fair, thus increasing the divide between the rich and the poor and overall increasing the gap between man and God.

Well… It’s very easy to talk of things, and equally difficult to find a solution for them… I’m no one to preach, but I could just hold the torch and light the way. A rose is the best thing a lover can gift his beloved… It symbolises love and happiness. The same rose when on the grave signifies affection and grief. Life is really a conundrum… Even Afred Tennyson could not help but think about it when he wrote,

FLOWER in the crannied wall,
I pluck you out of the crannies,
I hold you here, root and all, in my hand,
Little flower—but if I could understand
What you are, root and all, and all in all,
I should know what God and man is.

Little Rose is like any one of us… Let us befriend innocent kids like them and bestow them with love and care. Let us make an attempt to do something for them. Let us give them the joys of childhood. And I feel really happy to see people who actually go ahead and put things into action. I know of one such effort – Toybank. Visit http://www.toybank.co.in/ . Bravo people… Keep up the good work. Lets come together and make this world a heaven on earth.

THE ESSENCE OF SILENCE

2006-02-28T00:45:00.000-08:00

Well.. What am I going to write about today?
Hmm… Let me think…
Let me ‘talk’ about ‘silence’..

Now you’ll wonder, what’s there to talk about silence?

Silence is like an eternal spring. It is the most infalliable testing tool. Still vexed by my sentence? Well… it is very simple, the one who understands your silence, understands you in and out.
Read on…

O Silence.. Why am I in love with you?
Without you, the whole world seems untrue..

You bring in unspoken joy to my life,
Silence, you are an end to my strife.
I feel like heaven in your presence,
You’ve become life’s sweetest essence.

Yes, there’s no music around…
But with you around, I need no sound..
You’ve never been an inherent part of me so far,
Yet, when I look back today, sounds seem like a war…

- Luv, Ships.

THE RISING SUN

2006-02-27T09:33:00.000-08:00

Well friends... this being my first blog let me being with something which inspires me everytime i'm down... It talks about hope, about mirth and about life... Read on.

Friday afternoon, last week, tired of the hustle-bustle of our daily life, I went to the beach to find some peace amidst the celestial silence. I cursed the entire cosmos for whatever wrong that was happening to me; when out of nowhere, a sweet little girl emerged! She was so sweet, so cherubic, so innocent and angelic, that for a moment I forgot all my pains. She said in a mellisonant voice, “Hi! I’m Mirth. What’s your name?”. Reluctantly, I replied, “Shipra”. Like any other child she started firing questions like bullets, when finally giving a cockamamie reason, I said, “Look, workload has already eaten me up. Please don’t bother me.” Yet, with a naughty grin on her face, she replied, “Fine, see ya tomorrow. I’ll be waiting!”

Next day, my feet dragged me to the beach once again. There I sat dysphoric, downcast, unhappy with myself as usual. Mirth came along suddenly and asked, “Sis, do you enjoy a Roller coaster ride?” I didn’t reply. She said, “Well, I love it. But can you tell me why does it take so long for that steep climb and then it rolls down so easily filling us with so much of joy?” Her question though sounded silly had so much to do with our daily lives. We put in so much of hard work just like that tough climb and finally we’re rewarded with that joyous slide. Yes….. my mind said, “Cheer up! Your hard work will certainly be rewarded. If it’s not today, there’s ought to be a golden tomorrow.” My lips suddenly sported a smile. Mirth said, “Wow! Keep smiling. You look good.”

The beach by now had become a daily routine. Answering Mirth’s silly questions was fun. Therein lay the gist of life. She even offered me to visit her place as she stayed in a nearby cottage. I said, “Some other time, honey!” Time spent with her was total fun. We never stopped smiling.

But God didn’t want me to smile………

On Wednesday, I lost one of my close friends. Mirth as usual sat besides me. I shrugged. Noticing the anguish on my face, she asked, “Why does the sun set?” I didn’t want to listen. I yelled at her, “Leave me alone”. Smilingly she said, “Take care and think over it!” Good heavens, I shouldn’t have reacted that way.

Next day as usual I was at the beach. But this time Mirth was nowhere around. It was all my fault. Again on Friday she didn’t turn up. I remembered her saying that she lived in a nearby cottage. My schizophrenic mind dragged me to her place. A lady opened the door. I asked for Mirth. She welcomed me with a smile. “Please have a seat. You are Shipra, right? Mirth has left something for you.” I asked for her again, when her mother replied with dolorous eyes, “She’s left for her heavenly abode.” The sky came crashing down on me. “This is NOT possible!” Later, I learnt that she was a cancer patient.

Back home, I opened the gift that she’d left for me. Goodness… It was a painting of a beach with the Rising Sun! I stared at it, totally stunned and expressionless. I remembered her last question, “Why does the sun set?” The answer was so simple….so that it could rise again! Yes, this is what life is all about. Toil, travail, drudge…and finally you achieve bliss and mirth!

Well friends... Mirth's was a fictional character... But I'm sure, we don't meet angels like her everyday... So, lets make a promise, to live life to the fullest...

Just as Henry Wadsworth Longfellow says...

Every morning sees a task begun,

Every evening sees its close;

Something attempted, something done,

Has earned a night’s repose.

- Luv Ships.